Tips from Chandler family law attorney

How Long Does the Spousal Support Last Chandler, Arizona

Divorce is complicated, no matter how much you deny it. It is physically and emotionally draining and overwhelming; recovering can take a while. Parting ways with your partner is painful and can break you down completely. It can trigger anger, sadness, bitterness, hurtful feelings, or relief. What happens after you divorce your partner? This is the time to reach out for support from family and close friends that can help you sail through these challenging times.

When a couple separates or divorces, finances become the most critical topic. Moving from a two-income to a one-income household is a cause of concern and can likely lead to financial hardships. Even spouses who work at home might need more skills, experience, or education to find a job. In such cases, finding a suitable job that can support you financially becomes difficult.

What is spousal support?

Spousal support, also known as alimony, is financial support or spousal maintenance granted when one of the spouses has shown that they need financial assistance and the other spouse can provide it. The gender of each spouse plays no relevance in making this decision.

A judge weighs in many factors before deciding on alimony. Whether the requesting party genuinely needs it and the paying party can manage it. People are often ingenuine about their earnings and want to extract the money. Remember, the party must request alimony as it is not by default that they get it.

How long does spousal support last?

Each state has different family laws. In Arizona, most judges consider marriages of less than ten years to be short. Alimony in such marriages is for a short period; meanwhile, if a marriage lasts from ten to fifteen years, it is a moderate duration, meaning a significant amount is granted for a greater length of time. At the same time, over fifteen years or longer, marriages are considered moderate to long-term. Judges will not require the paying spouse to work beyond retirement, so there will be no indefinite term period.

If you are getting divorced and want to learn more about it, schedule a consultation with Shaffer Family Law at (480) 470-3030 today.

How to Explain to Your Child About the Absent Parent Chandler, Arizona

Both parents are vital for children regardless of unfortunate circumstances. Divorce can be hard for kids, as watching their family break up is difficult. When children are raised in a family where their parents love them, it is not easy to witness parents part ways with each other. In some instances, divorces happen when the child is young without any substantial memory of one of their parents. Even in those situations, while growing up, children learn about their other missing parent when they watch their peers accompany both their parents. Children are confused and try to look for answers. Some of the questions bothering children can be:

  • Who is my father?
  • Is he coming back?
  • Does he know I exist?
  • Does he love and miss me?
  • Can I see him?

Often children think that the world revolves around them. Everything happens to them because they are the cause or related to it. We understand it is not easy to talk about the missing parent when you are already filled with strong feelings toward your ex. It may be entirely negative, and not letting it overpower a rational conversation with your child requires time. Your child may wonder if it is taboo to talk about their father, but when you feel it is time, you must speak.

Communication is the key

It is essential to open a communication channel to help you understand your child’s feelings and how they process everything. This would help in your child’s overall personality development. You don’t want your child to keep bothering themselves and keep their feelings to themselves forever. They might end up blaming or hurting themselves for the absence of their father. Every child processes differently, and it can be a challenge if they are not talkative about their feelings. This opening up will help both ways, as your child deserves to know what happened to their missing parent.

Do not talk ill of another parent

Divorce is complicated and can ultimately turn your life around. We get it you are hurt and are taking one day at a time by joining those broken bits of yourself. It is physically and mentally overwhelming, and you will have strong negative feelings for your ex. However, venting or speaking ill about the missing parent in front of the child is not the best idea. Your child has all the right to know the truth as to why your ex left. It would help if you were honest about the reason for leaving, no matter how hard it is, but you should convey it in a simplified manner. That it happens, and the child is not responsible for anything.

Validate your child’s feeling

If your child is angry toward their father, you may alleviate by apologizing that the father could not be more present and how you wish it wouldn’t have been the case. Do not try to minimize or take away their feelings. Tell your child that it is okay to be sad and mad and give them time. If you can manage a child therapist, it may help your child.

Focus on the good qualities

Do not let your child think wrong about their father. The child may also believe they possess such inherent ill qualities as their father. It is the worst a child can think of and can affect their personality development.

Identify the father figures in their life

Sometimes, a son does not want to open up about certain things in their life to their mother. This is when they need someone they can lean to that may be a phone call away or can spend some good time with. They need to have someone they can turn to when they are uncomfortable sharing certain things with you.

We hope this can help you in some ways to start with, and in case you require assistance in pursuing a modification to your current parenting plan, our experienced family law attorneys are here to help. So, schedule a consultation with Shaffer Family Law at (480) 470-3030 today.

When Is it Time to Get Divorce, Chandler Arizona

To start with, parting ways with your partner is hard, no matter what. Breakups are painful, and there’s no easy way to say it. If you are married, it is even more complicated and can be a lot for you to process as there is a lot to manage, such as children, property, and more. The list is endless, and more comes along as the process continues. So, it is a lot more challenging than you imagined. Sadly, there’s no straightaway answer, but it is overwhelming no matter what others say. However, these questions arise later, but an essential aspect is when you should get divorced. When do you know it is time to part ways? Is there a time? How long should you wait? What are some of the signs? These are some common questions that can pop into one’s mind. However, there’s no easy answer for anything in this complicated situation.

Every individual is different when it comes to their relationships. So first and foremost, comparing your relationship to others would not be a wise thing to do. Everyone functions according to their life experiences; honestly, you can’t judge and draw comparisons. However, we’ll provide signs that can help shape your perspective and make your own decision.

  • Avoid or reject your partner – Some professional counselors believe your mind and body language response to your partner are somehow strong indicators. If you do not feel the closeness in your relationship and do not like the presence of your partner, then your mind and body will likely give you a hint. If you don’t feel like occupying a space near your partner, you fear or feel discomfort, don’t want to communicate, and ignore your partner’s presence. Even a lack of physical intimacy can be a significant concern for some in their relationship.
  • No effort – Do you remember the last time you made any effort in your relationship? It is not good if you think hard to develop an instance. The most important thing is to look within yourself to examine relationship issues than immediately blaming your partner for everything. It is also possible that either of you is not putting in any effort because you both have grown apart and do not feel the need to make any effort.
  • Everything turns into a big issue – Every relationship has ups and downs. It is healthy for a relationship to experience difficult times that help you grow and work through them. However, if every concern or disagreement turns into an out-of-proportion argument, it is a red flag. It means you may end up in arguments on most days throughout the year.
  • Abuse – Abuse in any form is unacceptable. No one deserves it or should live with it, whether physical, mental, verbal, financial, or others. It is not okay to be abused and continue your life. If your partner is always telling you what to do, limiting who you can hang out with, or wants to know how much you spend, it is probably time to part.
  • Infidelity – If your partner is cheating on you, it can take a while for you to process it. In any relationship, if trust is broken, it is hard to continue believing in that person. However, some people manage to move on and continue to live with their partners. If they can understand the reason behind infidelity and can live with the person, then it is an individual’s choice.  

If you are thinking about divorcing your partner and overwhelmed with the amount of work it will take, then Shaffer Family Law can help you. Our professional attorneys will take over your case and help in the best way possible. So, schedule an appointment today at (480) 470-3030.

Communicating With Your Ex-Partner, Chandler Arizona

A divorce is a life-changing event, like moving to a new place, finding a new job, getting married, etc. Break-ups are complex no matter what is said otherwise. Parting ways with your partner is painful and can break you down completely. It can trigger anger, sadness, bitterness, hurtful feelings, or relief. What happens after you divorce your partner? Do you intend to stay in touch? Do you feel interested in talking to or meeting up with your ex? Every individual is wired differently and functions accordingly. It can be hard to answer these questions blanketly. Some have arguments based on whether they have children and share their custody or other everyday things that make them come together. What if there are no kids, but you both work at the same organization? How will that turn out if you cut complete ties with your ex-partner?

It is essential to maintain amicable ties no matter how things have ended between both. However, men and women have different opinions. Some women have no issues communicating with their ex, while men think the opposite. They are not interested in keeping ties with an ex if they don’t have children. Men have a tough time accepting and moving on if they continue their connections with exes. But it varies person-to-person.

No longer be dependent on an ex

It will help if you don’t worry about managing and keeping your life together. With broken ties, you don’t have to stress over things your ex did or helped you with. Remember, there’s always a way out of everything. We understand how emotionally overwhelming it is to part ways with a loved one you had imagined spending your life with. Be mindful of your surroundings and seek the support of your family and friends who can help you. Look online, as it may help provide you with some information that can shape your perspective.

Don’t badmouth

Badmouthing your ex is not a great idea. If you talk ill about your ex in front of your kids or others, remember it is just your side of the story. It’s a two-way street; your ex would also have their perspective. This can negatively impact your children as they might become bitter or end up with sides. Children should have a healthy relationship with both parents. What you and your ex had should be between you both. It is good to maintain your dignity and not fall for it.  

Handle it well

If you happen to work at the same office, be amicable. Don’t show bitterness toward each other to your colleagues. It might give you a bad reputation at the office as you try to mix your personal and professional space. It can harm you, affecting your state of mind and work. 

Our legal attorneys can help you throughout the divorce and resolve many complicated matters involved in a divorce and make sure you move into your new life smoothly. Schedule a consultation with Shaffer Family Law at (480) 470-3030 today.

How to Move On After a Divorce, Chandler Arizona

Going through a divorce is never easy. It is as painful when you experience a personal loss. It is mournful like the death of a relative, as parting ways with someone you’ve loved the most is the hardest. It can be challenging to come to terms with the surroundings, and you can take as much time as you need. The emotions run high and can be overwhelming for the person. Even if you are the one who initiated the divorce, you will likely feel different emotions. Sometimes you may feel out of control, get angry, and feel sorrow over how it has turned out as you never married to end up in divorce.

Don’t stop yourself from feeling what you want to

It is a highly emotional phase of your life, and it is normal to feel what you may be going through. You can take your time to grieve. Sometimes you will feel like crying over losing your loved one. You will think about your wedding; you may look at photos and videos, watch them and cry without hesitation. Just let yourself free from that space and give yourself that time. It is one of the most difficult phases of your life, and it will take time to accept reality. Sometimes people live in denial about their divorce and continue to feel that sorrow repeatedly. It is toxic; you must set yourself free after the grieving phase.

Do what you like

If you don’t feel like getting up from bed and want to indulge in the guilty pleasure of overeating ice cream or chocolate, go ahead. But try and be mindful of your overeating. If you don’t feel like doing anything, try relaxing, practicing meditation, or doing other mindful activities. You may take a long shower to relax your mind and body.

Pursue a hobby or any activity

If you’ve been longing to learn a musical instrument, how to paint, or anything you like. Try and start working toward it. It is a good idea to indulge in something new and keep your mind off the overwhelming thoughts. You may feel sad and compare your life and lifestyle during marriage and how it has become now.

Spend time with your friends

Go out and enjoy yourself with your friends; you need to divert your mind and not be occupied with dark thoughts. Overthinking and constantly being in that negative space can pull you down, so do not let yourself be into it.

Reinvent yourself

When you’ve been one-half of a couple, it can make you think about what you are after it. It is time to start over and try something new which makes you happy, as it is you who matters in the end.       

Deleting Your Ex from Digital Life, Chandler Arizona

When you get married or move in together, your lives are tied together in many ways, including your home loans, power bills, and relationship status on social media sites. When it ends, it hurts as you have placed all your trust in one person. And when that trust breaks, you tend to lose a lot in terms of everything. It is emotionally and physically overwhelming, and it can be difficult to manage during such tough times. Sometimes, it is difficult to come to terms with and accept the changes in your life. However, it becomes even more challenging if you decide to part ways with your partner and things are rough with the separation.  

Imagine if a stranger knows a lot about you, it can be weird and simultaneously terrifying with the thought of what if your information is misused. Now think this, you’ve shared a life with your partner and how well they know about you, your mother’s maiden name, or details about you or your family close to you. It is nearly impossible for a person who has loved you not to know things about you. Then your partner becomes your ex; things didn’t end as they should have. If your ex has turned out to be nasty, and you both cannot find any common ground over decisions, believe it or not, it is an alarming situation. 

Make a list of shared account

When we say your partner, who is now your ex, knows a lot about you, it is pretty valid to an extent. Make a list of shared accounts, such as video streaming apps, home locks, indoor security cameras, Wi-Fi networks, and others, and change passwords immediately. It becomes problematic if your ex remembers the pattern of the way you think while creating passwords. You must think hard and differently about the things your ex doesn’t know. If something didn’t go well between you and you’ve got the slightest idea of how far things can go, it is time to act. However, even if things were amicable, it is best to make the changes. When you are together, knowing everything about the other is natural. But the same thing becomes scary when you both decide to go separate ways.

Remove life events from social media

Today, social media is inseparable from our real life. It constantly reminds us of our life events and brings back good or bad memories that we may or may not want to recall. It is time you delete the memories or constant reminders that you get. You may delete or archive photos from Facebook, Instagram, or others and adjust your stories on social media. It is best to wipe out all the memories from all your devices, if not possible, from the brain.

Turn off tracking services

If you share a joint phone account with your ex, you may need to remove your ex from the account or make sure he doesn’t have access to your location services. It only works for mobile phone lines on the same billing account or has the Family Companion app paired with parent devices.

Reset your devices

Shared laptops, phones, or any internet-connected device your ex has had contact with should be considered a suspect. Have a backup of all the necessary files and photos, and factory reset your devices.

How Long it Takes to Get a Divorce? Chandler, Arizona

No matter what people say otherwise, divorce is tough and a challenge. It is difficult to let go of someone you’ve loved the most and spent some good times together. It takes a lot from you emotionally, physically, and financially. If it involves children, it becomes further complicated as they are the worst victims. It is essential to keep them involved in your decisions as it affects their lives too. Apart from what you are dealing with at home emotionally, financially, and physically, it is a lot more to comprehend than that.

It is easy to get lost in the twists and turns of this seemingly endless divorce process. We understand you are already overwhelmed with everything and will likely be swayed by your emotions. This is the time to make things easier on yourself and know where you are heading. It is always good to see where you are going, as it can reduce some of the stress during such difficult times in your life. Ultimately, making a decision that benefits you and your children should be the goal. Some people would like to move fast in a divorce and get done with it, whereas others would take one step at a time and go slow about it.

It depends on the state you live in if you want to know how much time it takes to get a divorce. Not all states have a cooling-off period; it is a waiting period that must pass before your divorce finalizes. Suppose you and your spouse agree upon every part of the divorce – including custody, property division, living arrangements, and more; you are more likely to move quickly in your divorce process. However, if you and your spouse are not on the same page, it may even take several years to finalize the divorce.

Moreover, it comes down to how complex your situation is. If you’ve not been married for long and have lesser negotiable assets, your divorce may not be complicated if negotiated on most of the parts. However, if the marriage lasted for a long time with assets, it could take a long time to find a middle ground. Sometimes, it isn’t easy to understand why things happen as they do.

So, if you are planning to divorce your spouse and need help navigating the process, our experienced legal attorneys can help smoothen the process. Schedule a consultation with Shaffer Family Law at (480) 470-3030 today.   

Co-parenting Conflicts: Here’s What You Can Do in Chandler, Arizona

Parting ways is never easy, but a wiser decision than sticking around in an unhappy marriage. It comes with many responsibilities, and you must deal with them mindfully. If you have children, their safety and well-being become a priority. What is in the best interest of your child becomes of utmost importance. During a divorce, it is highly likely to have disagreements on many things; in some cases, it is common in every matter. With children, the responsibilities grow, and it is good to co-parent for your child’s best interest. However, you may end up with disagreements over many things, but if you create an understanding, it will benefit everyone in the long run.

Co-parenting time

The first bone of contention is time; it is important to understand that spending a good amount of time with kids, just like before the divorce or separation, is reasonable. Both parents should spend ample time with kids and remember that school or children away for activities do not count as time with parents. It is time to plan accordingly, so there are no disagreements at the first step. Research suggests that a child with a relationship with both parents is likelier to be happy than a child with a relationship with a single parent.

Child support

Child support amounts are based on each parent’s monthly income. It is the first responsibility of both parents, including gender-neutral parents, to pay for the support of their children. Even if both parents jointly share custody of the child, parents will still accept child support as it depends on the case and state laws that decide on child support. It is vital to abide by and be on the same page as your ex.

Bring child between

It is wrong if your spouse is using kids to raise concerns about an issue. It is important to deal with the issues directly rather than involving kids. Meet with your ex at a place where you can discuss the issue at length without involving kids. 


It is common if one parent is more lenient about the child not actively pursuing homework or other activities while the other may not be. It is likely that the parent would want to improve their child’s habits and discipline them but are struggling as the child continues to behave in the same way as with their other parent.


Sometimes some parents are particular about everything in their child’s life. When the child visits the ex’s place, they would want to know everything and if the child was cared for well and did not do things they should not be doing.

If you need help, our experienced attorneys can guide you in the best possible way. Schedule a consultation with Shaffer Family Law at (480) 470-3030 today.

How to Care for Yourself After Divorce? Chandler, Arizona

Divorce is hard. You may be dealing with a lot physically, emotionally, and financially. It is an exhausting process that can overwhelm you while doing even the simplest tasks. It is not easy, and you may be stressed over many things that may or may not require your immediate attention. You can look for ways to help you strengthen yourself, move on from the divorce, and try to live your life on your terms. Start taking care of yourself and live your best life.

Take downtime – It is essential to take some time out too. Be it soaking in the bathtub or being away from the phone. Just take some time and re-evaluate the life-changing events in your life. It could be simply sitting down with absolutely nothing and reassessing the life-changing event. Also, think about areas that require change. It may be starting afresh with a new job in a different state. 

Family – You can reach out to your loved ones and tell them you need their support. They can be your vast support system and be there for all the ups and downs in your life. Honestly, you may feel lonely as separating from a loved one can be complicated and take a toll on you! Divorce is never easy; detaching from a loved one can break you completely.

Create a schedule – It is vital to create a schedule and give ample time to the essential things in your life. Prepare a list of things you need to work on and pursue a hobby or activity. Do what you enjoy; you need to start afresh. Some people enjoy doing their work, so you may indulge yourself in work but do not become a workaholic with no life outside your work.

Meditate – You might be overwhelmed with everything around you, and meditation can help improve your focus. It enables you to be mindful of your surroundings. It can be a quick stress reliever, reverse your body’s stress response, and relax. It works on physical and emotional stress and calms your body and mind.

Participate in activity – Stressful times can pull you down, turning your life upside down. It is essential to move on and do what you like. You may learn something new through a class, such as art, dance, music, or a language. You may join a book or film club, visit local museums, do gardening, volunteer at a school, library, hospital, or animal shelter, or visit community and senior centers and participate in their activities.

Schedule an appointment with Shaffer Family Law at (480) 470-3030 in case you need any help.

Should You Move Out of The Family Home After Divorce? Chandler, Arizona

Divorces are tough and physically and emotionally challenging. Either spouse would likely be unwilling to live in the same space. But who should be leaving the house if both have their names on the real estate agreement? It is a tricky thing and a huge mess. Who gets to stay? It can get a bit messy! Each state has its laws; for instance, if you plan to divorce in Arizona, the property gets divided among both unless the house belonged to one of the spouses before the marriage. However, several questions arise, like whether you have to move out and will moving out cause one spouse to lose their rights. Are there chances of you losing your child custody if you move out?

Move Out or Not

When someone divorces their spouse, they may want to stay away from them. If you decide to divorce and continue living in the house without sharing the bedroom, it can become difficult to prove that you both are leading separate lives. Some states may allow cohabitating while others do not. If you move out, you must look for alternate housing. It is great if you’ve had strong relationships with your parents and friends who are willing to support you financially and emotionally. It is essential to build a great support system that you can depend upon, as they can be of enormous help in times of need. It becomes further complicated if you have a family with child(ren). If the family stays in the same house, they can also consider sending their child(ren) to grandparents. However, if you decide to move out, it is better to clarify your intentions.

Make Your Intentions Clear

Moving out of the family home doesn’t mean you lose the rights of the house or the legal decision-making of the child(ren). But you shouldn’t take any chances and write everything down on paper. You might have to create an inventory of all the personal property, such as furniture and appliances, and take photographs. Even if you or your spouse do not agree to the terms, write all the details, and both need to sign it. Even if you do not have an attorney now, you might want to seek some legal advice on the agreement.

Child’s Legal Decision Making

The children suffer the most in a divorce, and keeping them involved is important. The court considers several factors to create the type of legal decision-making and visitation arrangement that best serves a child’s emotional and physical needs. Some of the factors include:

  • Each parent’s physical and mental health
  • Each parent’s ability to provide stability
  • Child’s relationship with each parent
  • Each parent’s history of child abuse or domestic violence
  • Child’s adjustment to home and community

The court doesn’t favor one parent over the other but considers all the above factors based on the child’s best interests and overall well-being. The court has the discretion to make legal decision-making equal or allow one parent to make all decisions affecting the child. For instance, the court may allow the mother to make health-related decisions, while the father might have the right to make educational decisions. If the court orders equal decision-making, both parents meet and agree on them; however, if parents can’t, the court decides.

Our legal attorneys can help you navigate the process if you want a divorce. Schedule a consultation with Shaffer Family Law at (480) 470-3030 today.

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