Tips from Chandler family law attorney

What is Sleep Divorce Chandler, Arizona

If you think it is somewhat complicated, it is not. It simply means sleeping away from your partner to get better sleep. One may sleep in a separate room and may have different sleeping patterns or arrangements from their partner as it disturbs their sleep. It can be beneficial for both by giving ample space to each other and respecting the sleeping arrangements. For instance, if a person prefers to sleep in extremely cold temperatures while their partner looks for many comforters in that temperature. It can become difficult to manage in such situations and may turn into a warzone where one wants something while the other partner may not like it, eventually affecting their sleep.

Sleep is Important for Everyone

Sleep divorce may sound negative, but it has been a blessing in disguise for many people as it has helped people come closer. Sometimes a partner may snore, and the other may not be able to sleep during such loud noise. It can be troublesome and disrupt sleep, causing a bone of contention. Sleep is critical for your body to get ready for the next day. If one doesn’t get good sleep, it can lead to unproductivity and disrupt the entire day.

Moreover, insomnia, body heat, restless legs, etc., are other reasons that can disrupt a couple’s sleep. These reasons can make happy couples sleep apart in separate rooms, beds, or other spaces. It doesn’t need paperwork but different sleeping arrangements to improve their sleep. Couples may have a separate sleeping schedule, or simply sleeping on the wrong side of the bed can irk them.

What is a Sleep Divorce?

Sleep divorce is not paperwork but simply an arrangement between couples collectively deciding to sleep apart. Sometimes the word divorce may put off any partner; however, it may help everyone in the long run for a healthy relationship. But sleeping apart can be difficult as it may affect your healthy relationship. But a thoughtful, laid-out plan that balances quality time with each other without becoming a bone of contention in the relationship can be helpful. If you feel sleeping apart can ruin the marriage but sleeping together with many issues will not, in the long run, may do it. Discussing everything with your partner before moving forward with any arrangements is always a good idea. Always start with healthy and positive things about the relationship. Then avoid targeting your partner and blaming them for everything, even if their habits may be the reason. Try spending some good quality time together and appreciate each other for understanding. The purpose is not to let the distance affect your relationship but to schedule more time with each other to maintain a healthy relationship.

Divorcing a Narcissist Chandler, Arizona

Parting ways with someone you loved and never thought would leave your side can be brutal. It may take a while for anyone to process everything. Dealing with legal procedures’ emotional and physical stress can overwhelm anyone. It is exhausting as such life-changing events can affect your health. If your ex-spouse has been a narcissist, it makes matters even worse.

Is Your Ex a Narcissist?

A narcissist is an ordinary person, just like any other human. However, personality traits reflect self-centeredness, arrogance, lack of empathy, and no consideration for others’ feelings. They are in love with themselves and are unaware of others’ feelings. They want to be constantly praised and need attention and importance in another person’s life. They may resist changing their behavior and not find any fault within themselves. It can be hard sometimes to see these traits as the person can be delusional and dodge any questions. If you can find out about these traits, finding people in your life with these existing traits becomes a bit easy. Honestly, it can be challenging to follow standard rules when it comes to co-parenting with a narcissist. It can become a nightmare; divorce is tough, and dealing with a narcissist can worsen it.

No co-parenting but parallel parenting

It can be difficult to say co-parenting exists with a narcissists as their own opinions can preoccupy them, and often ignore the needs and demands of their child. This is simply unacceptable as it hampers your child’s overall development. So, rather than co-parenting, it may turn into parallel parenting. We understand it can be the most difficult but make peace with it. However, you have parted ways for reasons and let it be rather than fighting over co-parenting. When the child is at your home, instead of focusing on the overwhelming and stressful stuff, develop confidence and values for their overall development. Being compassionate and mindful of others’ feelings can be important so that inculcating mindfulness habits can help children.

Be the safe parent

A stressful and anxious environment can unease the child’s overall growth. Be the parent where your child learns from a calm and peaceful environment. Children can grow in a stable and loving environment. Show your children that you earn their respect by showing love and care and teaching mindful habits.

Let kids be themselves

Do not intently bring up other parent’s narcissistic behavior. Children grow at different stages and do not understand adult problems, responsibilities, etc. Your focus should be on taking care of your child during developmental stages.

Less communication

Do not increase your stress by interacting with such narcissists. Keep your communication to the point and limit it. You have no reason to react and trouble your state of mind. Always try and avoid conflict; any personal attack, commentary, or comments should be avoided, and try to ignore the narcissist if coming.

Contested Vs. Uncontested Divorce Chandler, Arizona

Divorce is hard, no matter what people say otherwise. It is physically and emotionally overwhelming. Losing someone you’ve loved and believing they would always be there for you can break you completely. It breaks your trust and makes it difficult to trust someone again. Reasons can differ for different individuals, but stress and anxiety can spiral you, making it difficult for you to continue your daily activities. Often the lines drawn between the work and personal space become blurry as one tries to escape reality. It is a life-changing event that can affect your mental and overall health. It is good to have support from others, such as parents, friends, etc., during this challenging phase.

Divorce Starts with Filing

Every divorce starts with filing the petition and ends with the final judgment. One can file for divorce in person or online and start the legal process of ending the marriage. The divorce filing fee varies from state to state and often from county to county; nationwide, they typically range from $100 to $350, but in some, it can go up to more than $400. If both spouses agree on the petition and matters involving property, children, or other issues, it is called an uncontested divorce. However, if the party that received the petition didn’t agree to the demands, they would reject it and file a response with the court, called a contested divorce. In a contested divorce, a professional family law attorney is required to proceed with the case. And when the case goes on trial, and if both parties do not agree with each other over matters like child custody and spousal support, it is likely extended.

Contested Divorce can be Costly

No matter how simple you keep your divorce, you may spend a lot to get through it. However, it may only sometimes be the case where the party must pay a hefty amount to get through the divorce. According to the research, an average of $7000 is spent on a divorce, but this is not one-size-fits-all. Remember, it may not be the same for every couple and may vary in states. For instance, it can become further complicated if the stakes are high and both parties share assets. Whereas uncontested divorces are much simpler, and some don’t even opt for an attorney and do all the research on their own before moving ahead and signing the documents. Often court fee influences your overall amount the hourly court session fee, attorney’s fee, administrative fee, etc. If you are undergoing a divorce and trying to do it yourself, seeking the help of a professional family law attorney can help your case. We may ensure that you receive whatever you deserve and is in your best interests. So, schedule an appointment with Shaffer Family Law at (480) 470-3030 today.   

Common Financial Mistakes During Divorce Chandler, Arizona

Divorce isn’t an easy road but a long process of sorting out or managing things legally and many other things. Nobody gets married thinking of divorcing one day, but things happen, and people become distant over time, leading to strained relationships. It is a chaotic situation, and one will likely be overburdened with everything and commit some of the most common financial mistakes.

  • Having no clue about your marital finances

If one spouse takes care of all bills and does not inform the other spouse about each expense, the other spouse likely doesn’t know how much money is going out. And if couples have joint accounts but no access to online banking passwords, it is a bigger mess. It would help if you had complete transparency and understanding of all your marital expenses, from rent, insurance, grocery, electricity, travel, and other expenses.  

  • No idea of managing finances

People should know how much they spend monthly, the overhead expenses, or any forthcoming. One should have a clear understanding of how much their expenses are. Sometimes people underestimate their expenses, and it is not advisable. Always know your income and the monthly and yearly expenses; otherwise, your spouse can take advantage of such a situation.

  • Marital debt

If your spouse took debt on your credit card, and if you assume they will take care of it, then you may be mistaken. You must talk with your ex and consult an attorney and financial person to ensure it is handled safely.  

  • Tax implications

Sometimes spouses have investments in 401k and IRAs, and liquidating that can cost you penalties. So, think wisely and seek financial advice on the specifics of the finances for a better understanding.

  • No financial security

You must ensure your and your child’s future is secure with alimony and child support. However, you may also be the one who is paying the amount to your spouse. In either case, one must be careful about their financial security.

Millennials Changing Divorce Rates Chandler, Arizona

Most Americans regard marriage as a couple’s commitment to their love for one another than a social or economic union. Before the millennial generation, marriage was more of an expectation than a choice. Today, more Americans prefer to marry later in life than in their early 20s. People focus more on getting an education and building a career before considering marriage. Individuals want to become financially independent before making that decision for themselves.

Meanwhile, couples prefer cohabitating with their partners before deciding on marriage. Research suggests that cohabiting is on the rise before marriage. Not everyone who cohabitates plans to marry, but many do. It is likely seen as a trial before the wedding, and they can live peacefully together after marriage. Are they compatible? What are the triggers in the relationship? Can they work it out? These are a few of the many concerns that can cloud one’s judgment before committing to marriage.

Millennials are Cohabitating

Can cohabitating before marriage help bring down the divorce rates or not? Earlier research suggests people believed in living apart, dating, and getting married. It was something people looked down upon, but today, the younger generation thinks cohabitation can protect and help them understand whether it is livable with their partners. It is quite appealing to many millennials, if not everyone, for many different perspectives, including emotional reasons. While it is like a trial run for some, others consider it a dating stage. It may not necessarily mean that every couple living together may marry later. Neither it suggests the choice of not living together can lead to stability in the future. It is not a black-and-white situation where one thing can work out for another person. Every individual is wired differently, and what might work out for one individual may not be a good option for another.

Marriage Age is Increasing

The fact is that the age at which people decide to get married has increased. Today, young adults pursue higher studies and aim for good salaried jobs, so getting married in their early 20s no longer coincides with their goals. Considering the unemployment and lower income rates, push them further to achieve their goals. Some barely pay their bills with multiple jobs, while others need help with their unsteady goals before settling down. Younger and more educated people are changing the norms with new perspectives. Achieving goals like buying a home, starting a family, and financial security are big goals in people’s lives and require constant effort and determination. Understandably, young adults want to be financially secure before making those big decisions in their lives.

Besides this, if anyone is seeking legal advice on divorce, separation, etc., and needs professional help, our attorneys can help! Schedule a consultation with Shaffer Family Law at (480) 470-3030.

Celebrating Mother’s Day After A Divorce in Chandler, Arizona

After the divorce, there are many responsibilities that parents need to take care of, such as child support, child visitation, etc., moreover, any decision relating to children. In joint custody cases, both parents retain the child’s responsibility. So being able to communicate and cooperate with the other parent is necessary. Besides, we can’t undermine how difficult it is for children to watch their parents part ways. A child wants both parents for a healthy and happier life. Research suggests that both parents are better off supporting a child than a single parent regarding socioeconomic, emotional support, etc., which are a few examples.

Celebrations with Ex

Parents sharing child custody must share amicable relations for the welfare of their child. Special events like birthdays, Mother’s or Father’s Day, or other holidays are discussed or planned according to the respective schedules. It is not easy for either of them to celebrate their ex and be role models for their child. The divorce process and moving on from your partner in every way is challenging, but coming together for your child can be emotionally exhausting for many. One does not need to be willing to share amicable relations but may form one for their child’s sake. To top it all, celebrating the ex can be too much for some.

Maintain Amicable Relations with Ex

No matter the reason for parting, it is important to instill good values in your child that will last forever. You must maintain amicable relations in front of your child as it can have a deep impact if you otherwise don’t. Arguments and conflicts in front of a child can make them anxious and feel responsible for it. Try and avoid as you can set some good examples for your child.

Make Your Child’s Opinions Feel Valued

Your child loves the other parent, and you must agree with your child for their happiness. You may have to spend time, energy, and effort helping your child find a present for their other parent. It is important to consider your child’s feelings and make them feel valued. Keep your personal feelings aside and try to make it a memorable day for your child and the other parent. 

Teach Values

Your child learns from your actions, so be true to them. Kindness does not cost you anything but takes you far with a sense of satisfaction. Set a good example for your child; after all your ex-spouse is your child’s mom/dad.

Do you need a Divorce lawyer in Chandler, Arizona

In Arizona, the legal name for divorce is Dissolution of Marriage. The time it takes to divorce or get a dissolution is not standard for all and depends on case to case. First, one must have time to understand if they want a divorce. It is difficult to accept reality as parting ways with someone you’ve loved is challenging. Leaving someone you thought would always be with you can be the hardest. Just like the death of a loved one, it can be emotionally overwhelming and painful for anyone to process the harsh reality. We understand everyone takes their time to realize and understand if things can work out and you are meant to be together. It is the biggest challenge of all and can take a while for anyone; however, for some, it may not be that long and can be very swift and clear as to how to pursue and move on.

No-Fault Divorce State

The first step is always the most difficult and takes soul-searching on whether you want this divorce. To file for a divorce, you or your spouse must have been a state resident for at least 90 days before filing for divorce. The state law requires the party filing to wait 60 days for the other party to respond and then proceed with a divorce. Apart from the divorce, the court has the authority to divide certain property and debts of the spouses and, in some cases, even order a spouse to support the other. Moreover, if children are involved, it includes custody time, parenting time, and child support issues. Only the court can legally end a marriage, and spouses may not agree to the terms.

You might not know, but Arizona is a no-fault divorce state, and you are not required to prove any fault to get a divorce. The only thing that counts is when the spouse states that the marriage can’t be reconciled. Even in the case of children, the court can only make judgments if they have stayed for at least 90 days in the state.

Hire an Attorney

If you hire an attorney, you will be in a better position with legal representation. Also, legal consultation or guidance is necessary to avoid too many challenges. Sometimes, simple situations can suddenly become out of control. If your case is challenging, you must go to trial. In such situations, you may have no choice but to hire an attorney. Besides complications, many other situations can push you to hire a lawyer for guidance and advice.

  • If the opposing party has hired a lawyer
  • When you and the other party can’t agree on many grounds, and likely end up arguing over everything.
  • Both parties have differing views on parenting time, child custody, etc.
  • Division of assets such as family business, cryptocurrency, etc.

It is time to contact Shaffer Family Law for legal guidance. Contact our experienced family attorneys to help get the compensation you deserve. 

Can Couples Live Together After Divorce in Chandler, Arizona

Divorce is difficult, no matter what people say otherwise. It is not easy to part ways with someone you’ve loved and decide to spend the rest of your lives together under one roof. Do not underestimate the situation; it is quite a challenge. It takes a toll on your mental and physical health. It is a life-changing event that can overwhelm you with many emotions. It can trigger anger, sadness, bitterness, hurtful feelings, or relief. What happens after you divorce your partner? Do you intend to stay in touch? Do you cohabitate together but live separate lives? Do you feel interested in talking to or meeting your ex? Every individual is wired differently and functions accordingly. It can be hard to answer these questions blanketly. Some have arguments based on if they have children and share their custody or other everyday things that make them come together. What if there are no kids, but you work at the same organization? How will that turn out if you cut complete ties with your ex-partner? Honestly, everyone’s situation is different, and it can be difficult as it depends on the person’s willingness to take things forward.

It is common for a divorced couple to reconsider their decision and reconcile. While in some cases, a couple may choose to live together even after the divorce. If divorced couples decide to live together, they mutually share all the responsibilities of parenting kids outside of marriage. And if you are wondering why anyone would want to live together, there could be many reasons for it. It could be beneficial as place hunting takes time and might even take a while with kids. Before moving out, one must thoroughly assess many factors about the new place, such as school, community, crime rate, and many others. Moreover, what could be the legal effects of cohabitation after divorce is something everyone is always concerned about.

Another important reason could be to minimize the disruption in children’s lives, financial issues, etc. They might choose to share the expenses and split the duties if they have children. Divorce laws are slightly unclear as the law allows child custody and child support, and if both are living together, then chances are the support obligation to be altered. The reason is that the spouse is already bearing the expenses as they all live together.

Moreover, even if the couple does not have children, they still likely cohabitate for their reasons after the divorce. They choose to live under one roof but lead their separate lives. But remember, this is only feasible if both are on good terms while parting ways. Couples who are unable to come to terms with the reality and find it hard to be on the same page with each other about separation may have the most challenging time. They may have difficulty reconciling over many issues, such as finances.  

This is where our experienced divorce lawyers can help you when contemplating living with your ex after divorce. We can guide and ease your divorce process while you try and figure out so many things in your life. So, schedule a consultation with Shaffer Family Law at (480) 470-3030.

How to Manage Extracurricular Activities During Shared Custody Chandler, Arizona

Extracurricular activities are good for your child. It helps them channel their energy well and enhances your child’s overall development. Participation in extracurriculars is a great advantage for the child to earn a scholarship. Not just one, but there are ample opportunities to participate in many activities. Be it any skill development, time management, or group activities for building social skills, it can be anything that may interest your child. Honestly, it can be hard to make that choice with so many options. On top, if you are divorced and sharing the custody of your child, it can be quite a challenge. Imagine all the children being part of different games and the practice sessions and tournaments possibly clashing. How is it feasible for a parent to be present for their children participating in various competitions simultaneously? Clearly, not!

Even two-parent families face this problem of being unable to be present in two places at once or whose game to attend when practices and tournaments are being held simultaneously for different sports at different locations. But when you share the custody of your child and who pays for what, then difficulty increases. Many challenges come with shared custody, which is more complex than you think.

Sign up

Even though extracurricular activities are helpful for a child, the first hurdle is whether to sign up for them. Also, deciding which activity to take up is a great deal. Parents want their children to participate in various activities, and conflicting schedules can be a huge problem. Then it comes down to making a choice, starting from here. One parent would want their kid to participate in dramatics, while another parent may want the kid to play a sport. Depending on the kid’s schedule, if only one thing is possible, then pursue that. The child must do one thing at a time, like sports this year and dramatics next year or vice versa. Parents do not want their children to have a busy schedule, which means spending more time with them.

Pick up and drop off

Parents have the most difficulty managing pick up or drop off during shared custody. It gets messy when either parent cannot pick up or drop off their child from the other parent’s house. Then the other parent drops off, picks up, or does not do accordingly, depending on your relations. It is great if you are flexible and able to make minor adjustments based on any situation that arises. The parent can drop the kid off for extracurricular activities, and the other parent can pick up the child after the session.


Shared custody means each parent must contribute to the child’s development, including school, clothing, stationery, extracurricular activities, and other necessities. Meanwhile, certain situations wherein the child wanted stationery items and forgot to bring them up at another parent’s house can happen, which may not be unusual. While it may have been the responsibility of another parent but can manage by spending on the child’s other needs or expenses.

So, communication is the key, and maintaining cordial relations for your child’s sake is good. Keeping your child’s schedule handy is essential, so you do not fall behind. If you feel the need for some legal help and advice on shared custody, child visitation, or other matters, schedule a consultation with Shaffer Family Law at (480) 470-3030.

Can You Move Out of State with Child After Divorce Chandler, Arizona

Divorce is difficult and even complicated when you have children involved in it. However, the care should continue irrespective of the separation. If parents have decided to divorce and cannot agree on a plan to raise their children, then the court will order a plan or decide on matters concerning their health and welfare. How much time will the child spend with their parents, and who will be the primary caregiver? Even relatives or other people may ask for custody or parenting time. The court’s decision will be based on the child’s best interest. A child’s welfare is central to any custody decision. Courts consider many factors to create custody or visitation arrangements that best serve the child’s physical and emotional needs, such as parents’ physical and mental health, the child’s relationship with each parent, their ability to take care of their child, any history of domestic violence or child abuse, and how the child adjusts to a new environment.

After thoroughly evaluating everything; the court will give joint or sole custody of the child. Parents can share legal custody even when one parent has sole custody. However, a parent with sole custody will have an advantage in relocation. When a parent wants to relocate with their child, the judge will look at how the move will negatively affect the child. Parents will submit evidence, and the judge will determine if moving is appropriate or, if so, then how to adjust the custody. They may also hear live testimony of the parent, friends, relatives, and any guardian involved in the case. There are many things that the judge will consider and base his decision upon:

  • Does the move benefit the child or keep the child away from another parent?
  • Will the relocation improve the child’s quality of life?
  • How has the child reacted to separation and visitation? Is the child longing for a parent?
  • Considering the past, present, and future of the child’s relationship with both parents.
  • Child’s adjustment to a new place.
  • Child’s preference, if any.

A non-custodial parent’s right can be affected if the other parent provides enough evidence that the move is in the child’s best interest. Parents talking among themselves and developing a parenting agreement will help both parents protect their relationship with their child.

Scroll to Top