Tips from Chandler family law attorney

While the divorce rate has declined in the population, there has actually been an increased rate for people over the age of fifty to get divorced. The phenomenon is being referred to as a ‘gray divorce’ and surprisingly enough, a divorce after age 50 is different from getting divorced in your 30s or 40s.

While the process of the dissolution of a gray marriage is the same as the process of any other marriage, coming to a settlement agreement can be much more challenging because each party in the divorce wants to protect themselves during the divorce and safeguard their financial future so that they are able to live comfortably in their later years.

There is no denying the fact that splitting will get harder as you age, both financially and emotionally. You must separate your emotions from the division of assets, as well as worry about unique financial repercussions that might not occur in other divorce cases. Getting divorced when you’re over 50 can be harder for a variety of reasons.

Dividing assets is a common part of divorce proceedings, but this division can create problems for one or both partners. As you get older, your ability to work to make an income quickly diminishes. Income has either stopped or slowed down, and splitting assets and fixed income affects each person compared to those who are still at a working age. You may be at-risk of not having enough money for your bills and will need to drastically change your life.

Dealing with taxes can be hard in your senior years if you are filing as a single individual. It’s hard because while you’ll be in a higher tax bracket, your income level is lower. You may also be at risk of owing taxes on your retirement accounts when the funds are divided.

Protect Your Finances During a Late-in-life Divorce

Now that you understand the unique challenges you will face; it is important to learn how to avoid financial errors so that you do not have to worry about recouping from them. Here are some valuable tips to get protective of your finances so that you can still live comfortably once you are single:

• Stay Civil When Talking About Marital Assets: When you get married, everything is about your love for your spouse. When you get divorced, it is a business transaction that is all about money. Letting your emotions affect how to behave can make it harder to divide your assets objectively. Of course, this is easier said than done, but you need to look at the divorce as a business deal instead of having the emotionally charged arguments, which will only you time and money.
• Evaluate Your Individual and Shared Debt: No one wants to be surprised by debt that is not in your name. Try to run credit reports on you and your spouse before you file so you’ll be able list your debt as a couple and debt that was accumulated by the other person.
• Evaluate Marital Properties and Retirement Accounts: When negotiating what type of settlement is going to be most beneficial to you, a divorce lawyer can help. Many people believe a lump sum payment to the other spouse is better than the long-term value of the assets.
• The Effects on Your Children: As you have gotten older, you have probably talked about your estate and how assets will be given out. A later in life divorce can affect this estate plan, which will affect your children and grandchildren. This would be a good time to let your children know how their inheritance could change.
• Don’t Overlook Medical Care: Older age also comes with an increase in medical issues. It is an especially important time to have health insurance since your health can affect your assets and financial future.

If you would like to speak with a divorce and family law attorney about your case and get their advice, give Shaffer Family Law a call for a consultation at (480) 470-3030.

Child custody is the term legal used to define the relationship between a child and their parents or legal guardians. It’s mainly used within the context of divorce and separation to describe how both parents should care for and visit with their children.

There are a few custody arrangements, so it is helpful for parents dealing with custody issues to understand the options that may be available to them. Each type carries different implications, so getting it right is critical to the success of the relationship you share with your child and your ex.

No matter what your family’s structure is, deciding upon a child custody arrangement that acts in the best interest of your child is a critical first step toward living life under the new norm.

Here are the four types of child custody arrangements:

1. Legal Custody: Legal custody describes the basis of parental rights and responsibilities. It is the clearest form of child custody from a legal standpoint, since it usually involves the rights given to all parents regardless of arrangement type. Every parent has legal custody, whether they have sole or joint custody.
2. Physical Custody: Physical custody is a term reserved for parents who provide daily care and support to the child. It is also referred to as residential custody, which essentially describes who the child will live with. A physical custody arrangement can be joint or sole custody.
3.  Sole Custody: With sole custody, the courts assign the responsibility and care of a child to a single parent. The parent who has sole custody is sometimes referred to as the custodial parent, while the parent who only has visitation rights is called the non-custodial parent. The sole custody arrangement is common because it gives the non-custodial parent the opportunity to still visit with their children, without disrupting the consistency of schooling and home life needed for a child to thrive.
4. Joint Custody: Sometimes called shared custody or shared parenting, joint custody is when the child’s full-time living arrangements are divided between parents using a method of percentage. For instance, a court may award a joint custody agreement using a 50-50 split. However, the actual rate used varies according to what is in the best interests of the child. Joint custody arrangements are more challenging in terms of a court ruling. There is a ton of consideration on behalf of the family court judge assigned to your case. It’s possible that receiving joint custody might not even be on the table if he or she feels that it is not conducive to your child’s well-being.

When it comes down to it, the priority should be providing for and protecting your children. If you are concerned about child custody issues as a married or unmarried person, you have options. More than anything, you have rights that deserve to be protected.

When you hire a licensed Arizona family law attorney at Shaffer Family Law, you can have the peace-of-mind in knowing that you are doing your best at giving you and your family the best chance at moving forward in life.

At Shaffer Family Law, we know how hard it can get when it comes to navigating the difficulties that surround child custody issues. You can schedule a meeting with our team by calling (480) 470-3030 today!

In family courts across the country, text messages and other forms of electronic communications have been used as evidence in divorce proceedings. In today’s technologically advanced world, texting has become the go-to method of communication. While we think that our personal text and phone messages are confidential, the truth is, once you send a text message there’s not no taking it back.

This can be negative, since it’s so easy to take messages out of context and people can interpret the message in a wrong way. It has also, unfortunately, become a tool for people engaging in extramarital affairs.

Divorce attorneys have noticed an increased use in digital messages submitted as evidence, a trend that doesn’t seem to be slowing down anytime soon.

Texting to your lover is basically like walking in the door with kiss marks on your neck. It’s easy to be caught. Even if your divorce has nothing to do with a cheating spouse, text messages can still cause problems for you, especially if you text a message that could be construed as hostile or negligent.

This is especially true if you have been fighting for custody of your children. If you send your ex-spouse an angry text about one of the contentious issues, the message can now be used as evidence in court to make it seem like you have anger issues.

And if you’ve been trying to prove spending more time with you is best for your children, you don’t want to give your ex any more ammo to fight that claim. While the message alone may not be very strong evidence, it can be used in addition to other evidence being used against you. Text messages can be misinterpreted so it is best to avoid sending anything in anger.

The credibility of text messages

Some legal experts believe that the use of personal texts as evidence is an invasion of privacy and shouldn’t be acceptable in court. However, if your partner’s cell phone is part of a family account, you may have the legal right to look at her messages.

Then again, it may be a crime to try to get the text messages from a phone that doesn’t belong to you. Remember, like in criminal cases, the credibility of your evidence is generally based on how defense got their hands on the evidence.

Another challenge to the admissibility of a text is to have the proof that it was actually your spouse who wrote and sent the messages. Even though your spouse’s phone contains steamy messages to an unknown person, there may be doubt that they were the ones who wrote it.

While there is a lot of legal work when it comes to addressing these issues, if you’re facing a divorce, it’s a good idea to work with an experienced family law attorney. They’ll be able to help you determine whether the text-message evidence will influence the court or be dismissed as irrelevant. Give Shaffer Family Law a call today at (480) 470-3030 to get started on your case.

During divorce, can you think of anyone one more at a disadvantage than stay-at-home moms. Since many of these women have been away from the workforce for a while, they are less likely going to be able to finance their newly single status, especially with children. This disadvantage is evident as soon as the divorce process begins. Therefore, it is so important to get organized as quickly as you can because the faster you can get your things in order, the safer your financial future could become.

Here are some tips to think about:

• Documentation plays a big role when it comes to working towards a favorable divorce settlement with your soon-to-be ex-spouse. Attorneys, mediators, and certified divorce financial analysts will more than likely request a variety of documents so that they can have a clear picture of your current marital finances. You want to make sure that you have copies of tax returns from previous years, income statements, bank statements, insurance policies, loan and mortgage details, and any information regarding investment accounts.
• It is no secret that divorce can be expensive and since many stay-at-home moms lack access to marital funds, accessing those funds is a critical first step in finding a way around this problem. Some women secretly stash cash away from the eyes of your spouse. You may also want to take advantage of learning about your marital finances while you can. Find a way to get the most realistic picture of your current finances. This can include looking at bank statements, tax returns, or any other financial documents you find lying around.
• If there is a chance that you have some sense about what your expenses are as a married couple. Whether it’s mortgage (or rent) payments, utility bills, Wi-Fi and phone bills, and many other essentials of daily life are going to need to reflect two separate households. At this point, you’ll need to come up with a realistic expectation of your monthly expenses. Child support isn’t going to cover all your expenses.
• Make a list of the items, assets, and other details that are the most important to you in the divorce settlement. They should include tangible items, like any sentimental items and family heirlooms. This also includes figuring things regarding visitation, custody rights, and co-parenting solutions. When you have a list upfront, this allows you to focus on the bigger picture, instead of getting stuck on the minor details of the negotiation process.
• It is completely reasonable for stay-at-home moms to want to keep the marital home, usually for sentimental value or to maintain some form of a stable routine for their children. Unfortunately, this may not be a practical choice because unless your new budget allows it, you could find that keeping the marital home is not sensible. To determine the home’s actual value, you will need to have it appraised. You can then use this important information to start planning the amount of money that is needed for you and your spouse to pay off your shared debt or divide the funds.
• If you’ve been a stay-at-home mom for a while, there’s a chance that you have not been using your name and other information to apply for credit. This situation will make things hard, especially when it comes time for you to make another major purchase that where you will need financing. You can easily find out your current credit score with online tools like Credit Karma. Depending on what you score is, this is what indicates whether you’ll be eligible for a new mortgage, auto loan, or even for renting an apartment. A low credit score can be improved over time and the first step is to open a line of credit in your own name. Contact a lender at your local bank to see if you can find someone who is willing to issue you a small line of credit. 
• Even if you receive child support or alimony, you’re probably going to have to start earning your own money sooner than later. The quicker you re-enter the workforce and start earning money, the quicker you’ll be able to secure yourself financially. Contact your network: you friends and any former coworkers. Let them know the type of work you want to do and ask them to keep an eye out for you. Even if you’re not ready or able to jump back into working in the corporate world full-time, look for short-term and part-time gigs.

Getting a divorce is a huge life change, and you’ve got a list of things to do. Here at Shaffer Family Law in Chandler, our attorneys will be with you every step of the way. If you’ve been staying home and taking care of your children, you deserve competent legal assistance. This also applies to stay-at-home dads as well! Call us today at (480) 470-3030.

Domestic violence is a problem that can influence every part of your life. If you are a victim, it is common to feel isolated from your friends and family. And when we feel alone and afraid, it becomes very difficult to leave an abuser and start a new life without them.

The situation becomes even harder if you have children with your abuser. Research has shown that roughly 60 percent of abusers who attack their intimate spouses also direct some of their violence towards their children.

One crucial thing to remember is that domestic violence can play a considerable role in your decision to divorce. You may need legal assistance to help gain your freedom and the attorneys at Shaffer Family Law can help you by representing your case before the court.

Domestic violence is an area of the law that often has criminal consequences and has a big influence on the result of a family law case. A conviction following domestic violence charges can have negative implications on a child custody case, often because of the indication of child endangerment.

Our attorneys are prepared to advocate zealously on your behalf regardless of how far the domestic violence case has gone forward. Give our Chandler office a call today at (480) 470-3030.

If you need help with this situation, give the National Domestic Violence Hotline a call at 1-800-799-7233.

What do you do if the COVID-19 scare has shut down your employer and has caused a layoff, or has suddenly left you without income to pay child support or alimony? Or what can you do if you’re the recipient of alimony or child support? You’re probably left needing to figure out how to pay bills and make ends meet without support from your child’s parent or ex-spouse?

An epidemic like this can have far reaching economic consequences and when it comes to family law issues and can stress out both the payer and the payee. A look at the entirety of each parties’ financial situations could be required.

Compromise may also be appropriate, and though you must properly convey the entire agreement to avoid interpretation or enforcement issues later. In these cases, legal counsel is strongly advised.

However, in cases where parents are not able to reconcile their differences and compromise, these parents may need to seek court intervention. This could be in the form of a virtual alternate dispute resolution and it is advised that you seek legal counsel immediately.

You can call Shaffer Family Law in Chandler today at (480) 470-3030 if you have any questions.

Divorce is never an easy thing. It’s an emotional, draining, scary, frustrating and challenging event in anyone’s life. If you’re thinking about getting a divorce or are beginning the process of undergoing one, the more information you have, the more comfortable you’ll be during this difficult time in your life. Knowing your options will allow you to do what’s best for you and your family so that you can get passed this time of your life and move on.

Before you meet with your Chandler divorce lawyer, it’s good to know about the different types of divorces. That way you’ll better understand what your lawyer will explain to you in more depth. There are two types of divorce cases: contested and uncontested.

Both are complex, but the real difference between the two is the ability for both parties to come to an agreement on all aspects of the case. If the two spouses can’t agree on the terms of the divorce, the case will have to go to court and it could be a lengthy battle.

However, both uncontested and contested divorces have their own advantages and disadvantages and choosing one over the other will ultimately depend on the type of relationship you have with your ex-partner if you have children and assets that are shared.

What Is an Uncontested Divorce Case?

Typically, an uncontested divorce case is one where both parties can come to terms on an agreement on all aspects of their divorce, including the kids, property, assets and more. Usually, uncontested divorce cases are amicable and are shorts. Individuals filing for an uncontested divorce need to so on “No-Fault” grounds in legal terms “in-supportability.”

This just means that the marriage has broken down because the two parties are incompatible with one another and neither have the expectation of reconciling again.

In order for an uncontested divorce case to be successful, both parties much agree on all child custody matters and marital assets and debts.  The parties must agree to matters relating to shared parenting and the split of all debts, assets, and property. They must also voluntarily sign all necessary paperwork and documents without any hostile arguments, too.

Given the ease of an uncontested divorce case, it’s acceptable to file without the need for legal representation. However, it’s not advised as both parties can easily overlook very important aspects of their particular divorce case and situation.

This can then result in an unenforceable divorce by the court. It’s better to have a Chandler divorce attorney by your side during an uncontested divorce case to ease the process and make sure everything is correct so that you don’t run into any difficulties later on. Having representation will make the entire divorce process seamless, so you now have one less than to worry about during this important transition of your life.

What Is A Contested Divorce Case?

Sometimes, divorce cases are so amicable. Usually, when things get ugly, spouses won’t come to see eye-to-eye on various divorce terms, which leads to a contested divorce. You’ll definitely want to seek representation from a Chandler divorce lawyer for a contested divorce case.

When spouses can’t agree on the divorce settlement, the case is now considered to be a contested divorce that requires a reputable and skilled attorney. Contested divorce cases usually require mediation, arbitration and can possibly go to trial. They are a lot longer than an uncontested divorce and can become very complex, especially with child custody battles, large marital estates and complex division of property and more.

There are numerous proceedings and steps that spouses will go through in a contested divorce. While there’s no exact timeframe, these divorces can drag on for months at a time before it’s all finalized. Steps that parties complete before the divorce is finalized include filing all the legal paperwork, serving the papers to the appropriate parties, court-ordered mediation before hearing or a temporary orders hearing and then counterpetition/responding.

From there, you’ll go through the discovery process, pre-trial hearings and motions, negotiations or mediation and finally the trial. If applicable, you might be able to appeal the final decision on your contested divorce case if the outcome is not in your favor or what you initially wanted.

It’s not uncommon for a divorce to start out as uncontested, but as things progress and the two spouses can’t agree on terms, the case can easily escalate to a contested divorce case.

Common reasons why divorce would be contested include:

• A spouse hiding assets
• A combative divorce where spouses can’t work amicably together to separate
• A dishonest spouse
• A cheating spouse with proof of infidelity
• A spouse lying about finances
• Auguring over the division of property
• Conflicting views on parenting and child support or custody
• An abusive marriage
• The simple fact that spouses can’t communicate effectively during the divorce process

While many want to know how long a contested divorce will last, the truth is that it’s hard to say. The entire process can take a few months to even as long as a few years in really complex contested divorce cases. But usually, the more the spouses can agree and cooperate on various matters, the smoother and faster the entire contested divorce will go.

Because divorce can be a challenging event, it’s better to seek legal advice and representation from a Chandler divorce lawyer. A knowledgeable divorce attorney will be able to safely help and guide you through a contested or uncontested divorce.

Everything from the initial documents you’ll need for your consultation to working on all the court orders and more, a Chandler divorce attorney will help you throughout your entire case. Give us a call today at (480) 470-3030.

You might be tempted to try and go through a divorce without seeking representation from a divorce lawyer. But before you actually do it know it’s a long and challenging road given the complexity of divorce cases.

The biggest reason why people want to go through a divorce without a lawyer representing them is the s associated with legal representation. However, in reality, the disadvantages associated with going through a divorce on your own can really outweigh all that money you saved.

Not only do Chandler divorce attorneys know the law and all of its intricate details, rules, and regulations, but they also know what points need to be argued and how to effectively argue them.

After all, they went to school to know the ins and out of divorce proceedings, so they understand the divorce process and what’s needed to tip the case in your favor. Plus, the court system can be very complex. If you don’t fill out forms and papers correctly, your case can be thrown out or it can prolong the process.

A Chandler divorce lawyer will know how to properly deal with all the nuances of the courts. They’ve also experienced with the legal process and are knowledgeable of court etiquette. Despite the fact that many divorce cases don’t actually make it to court, Chandler divorce attorneys understand that much of the litigation process of divorce happens outside of the courtroom.

When people try to represent themselves in a divorce, they’re actually doing a poor job and causing an extra burden on the local courts. Trying to go through the legal system when filing a divorce with no guidance or real knowledge of the process can actually slow down the court.

Although these people try to save money to make the process easier, they’re actually making it more work for themselves and all parties involved.

They think that they can easily figure out the process as they go along, but the legal system isn’t as easy as it sounds. There are a lot of legal terms that the general public might not understand, thus hurting your divorce case in the long run.

More Huge Drawbacks to Self-Representation for A Divorce

A huge drawback to a self-represented divorce is the fact that you won’t know how to address certain issues that can arise during a divorce case. And the fact that you don’t know what to look for can be very devastating to your case. Not knowing what issues need addressing can really haunt you in the long run.    

Then there’s the problem of objectivity. Since you’re representing yourself, there’s no objectivity, which can really hurt your divorce case. You won’t be able to shake any subjective perception of the case because you only see it from your side.

A Chandler divorce lawyer will always be objective about the facts in your case and will find a way to show you in the best light possible.

You Get to Do All the Paperwork

Unless you love paperwork, when you ditch legal representation for your divorce, you’re stuck doing all the tedious tasks that come along with it like endless paperwork. There are many forms that need to be filed during the divorce process and a Chandler divorce lawyer will handle it all when they take on your case.

But if not, you’ll need to go through and read the very complex agreements and paperwork before signing and filing them with the court. Many require meticulous review that you’re not trained to do or respond to. However, all this paperwork is imperative to your case and needs to be completed before you stand before a judge.

Additional Stress

Because the divorce process is difficult and complex, it’ll be a stressful time in your life. Adding more stress to your situation isn’t recommended. However, representing yourself in a divorce case can add even more stress to your life.

You’ll find that the demand for timelines, the confusion of documents and lingo and the frustrations you might experience with the courts can all add up and add more stress to your already booked and chaotic life.

A Chandler divorce lawyer will help ease the stress of it all by guiding you through the process as gently as possible. They’ll handle all the hard work and simply notify you on things you need to bring, sign, do and more. Plus, a lawyer can really help you get through the emotional rollercoaster of a divorce.

Some divorce cases can really inflict a lot of trauma, so a skilled and experienced divorce lawyer can help you manage all the emotional stress in order to instill confidence to help you get through this difficult time.

It’s Not in The Best Interest for Your Family

If you have a family, a self-represented divorce isn’t in the best interest of your family despite being good on your wallet. If your divorce requires custody, child support or other issues dealing with children, then it’s in your family’s best interests to seek professional help from an experienced Chandler divorce lawyer.

Things can get messy when kids are involved, and you want to ensure that everything is done correctly so that the children are protected as much as possible to reduce any trauma or unease they might be experiencing.

A knowledgeable divorce lawyer will evaluate the situation and your entire case in order to increase the odds of having a good outcome for the entire family, especially the children.

Going through a divorce without a lawyer is never a good idea. The majority of the time, your case won’t end well, and it might you more stress, headaches, time and even money in the long run than if you would have just hired a divorce attorney from the start.

A divorce lawyer at Shaffer Family Law in Chandler will help guide you every step of the way and look out for your family’s best interests as they work to achieve the best outcome possible.

Take Responsibility for Your Actions

Divorces, especially highly emotional ones, can feel very overwhelming. It can be overwhelming to the point where you are tempted to withdraw from the hard work of unpicking your life with your spouse.

Don’t become a bystander in your own divorce. This is the best way to come away with less than you deserve. You need to do the work and do it well. Listen to the attorney you hired, but when it comes down to it, you need to make your own decisions. You’ll reach a better settlement when you take control and will help you speed up the process do that you can get on with your life.

Don’t Date

If you have a relationship outside of your marriage during your divorce, regardless of when it started, it can make the formal divorce process a little complicated. There may be a risk that any communication you had with the person can be used in a legal proceeding to prove infidelity. If you’ve already started a new relationship, you should consider putting things on hold until the whole process is over and the paperwork is complete. 

Figure Out the Living Situation

Think about where you, your partner, and your children—if you have them—are going to live. Factor in how childcare is going to affect where you live and what kind of accommodations you’ll need. This will help you put together a working budget of your weekly, monthly, and yearly expenses. The goal is to ensure that your plan is doable.

Make Arrangement for the Kids

When it comes to your children, you’ll need to think about how you’ll explain the situation to them. There are many things they’ll need to cope with this disruption in their life. You’ll need to think about who will have primary custody, where the kids will live, and if there will need to be any changes in where they go to school. 

Stay Organized

Yes, you’ll need to think about how you’ll explain the situation to them and consider the tools they’ll need to cope with the upheaval. You’ll need to think about which of you will have primary custody, where the kids will live and any changes in where they go to school. 

A fair and informed divorce agreement is going to depend on having an accurate picture of your finances, assets, and debts. Gather copies of all the important financial documents and access to all account information. These important documents include tax returns for up to 5 years, recent pay stubs, insurance policies, information for retirement accounts and pension accounts, social security estimates, and employment contracts and employer provided benefits for you and your spouse.

Understand Your Biggest Assets

A home is often more than any other purchase, we have strong emotional attachments to the homes we live in. But don’t let those emotions get the better of you regarding property you shared with your spouse.

You many end up discovering that you gave up other assets just to keep a home in which you can no longer afford to live.

While many people believe that their house is their biggest asset when in fact its their retirement or pension account. The court may well consider its future value when dividing assets.

Get Professional Help

As important as your friends and family are, you’re going to benefit from professional help which, at a minimum, is going to take the shape of a divorce attorney or a mediator.

Research and interview at least attorneys in your area and make an informed decision about which one is right for you. At Shaffer Family Law, we have years of experience and are open to talking to you about what you need from an attorney and help you get through this process as smoothly as possible.

Be 1000% Sure of your Decision

Breaking up a marriage can be traumatic for not only you and your spouse, but also your children. So, before putting things in motion, you need to be sure that you can honestly say that you did everything you could to make the marriage work. You don’t want to go through this procession without making sure you haven’t tried all the options. There’s couple’s therapy and just regular therapy. By doing this and exploring all your options before filing for divorce, it will help make this difficult process a little bit more manageable. 

Imagine Your Relationship with Your Future Ex-Spouse

Perhaps you’ve already decided that you never want to see your ex-spouse ever again. Of course, if you have children or at the very least, good friends in common, you’re more than likely going to interact with them sometime in the future. What do you want this relationship to look like? As you go through your divorce, you need to consider how the actions you take will reflect on those regular or occasional interactions. Remember, you’re legally separating from them, not moving to Mars. It’s more than likely that your paths will cross again.

Plan How You’re Going to Deliver the News

It’s maybe something not everyone thinks about, but have you told your partner you want to divorce? Are you stuck on how to bring it up? Divorce is a lot bigger than simply breaking up with someone. It’s important to have enough time to be able to think about how you’re going to express your decision as clearly and calmly as possible. By now, you should also know you should expect how your spouse is going to take in and react to this news.

When you tell them, be prepared by having a bag packed and a place to stay, just in case either one of you needs to spend some time alone. If you are in an abusive situation, please seek a professional to help you or have someone you trust be there to back you up.

Spend Time with Loved Ones

Even if your divorce is cordial, you’re going to experience some form of stress and it’s more than likely going to take an emotional toll. In the middle of all the craziness, it’s so easy to forget about checking in with yourself and caring for your wellbeing. This is the perfect time to lean on your close friends and family. If they don’t already know what is going on, tell them and talk about your feelings and the decision it’s led you to make. You can also just have fun and spend quality time with them. This is a great way to relieve some stress.

Take Everything In

For a lot of people, there are some days that seem unbearable. Sometimes people who feel battered by divorce proceedings turn to things that aren’t going to help them. They’re self-medicate with alcohol or drugs, or do thing they would never think about doing, like having sex with the wrong people or vandalizing their ex-spouse’s car.

None of these are going to help – they’ll only make you feel better temporarily, and you’ll probably end up feeling worse than before. These behaviors can slow down your divorce or get in the way of your parenting, which can threaten your custody plan. The best mindset to have during the divorce is that the only way to get through it is facing it head-on.