Life after a divorce or separation requires many adjustments, including learning to live without a partner again. While living without your partner may be exciting at first, mostly if it were a tough divorce, you would not know how you’ll handle it until that first night alone after you move in, lock the door for the night, and get into bed, when it is more like to all hit you.
Loneliness after a divorce is common and even expected. Even though it didn’t work out, you shared a life with them and planned a future together. Divorce and bring up a lot of strong emotions, many often lead to feeling lonely. What are the causes, and what can help you manage these feelings after a divorce?
Common causes when feeling lonely after a divorce
Grief, sadness, and anger
Divorce can cause emotional rollercoaster. Emotions like grief, sadness, and even anger are common, and these emotions may cause you to pull away from others and isolate yourself. This isolation can lead to feelings of loneliness.
Separation from family and friends
Divorce usually means becoming separated from groups of friends and extended family, especially those you met through your ex. These people were an essential part of your shared life, and there is a chance that they are completely gone from your new life. Additionally, many divorces mean that a pet will be going with one partner and not the other. If you were close to that pet and it is no longer around, you can be left feeling alone.
When children are involved in a divorce, there are often custody issues to handle, and they may not always come out in your favor. If you share custody with an ex, there will be times you find yourself alone without your children, which can contribute to feelings of loneliness after divorce.
Alone During the Holidays
Many couples and families have regular holiday traditions, often shared with family and friends. Divorce and break-ups can change all that. When those holidays come around, they may bring with them post-relationship loneliness.
How to deal with loneliness after a relationship ends
Accept post-relationship loneliness
Suddenly, you have lost someone important in your life. Not only are they physically gone, but their emotionally gone as well. It is common to feel disconnected and alienated from others, incredibly close mutual friends, and in-laws. While you grieve and heal from your split, it is common to experience periods of loneliness. It is a standard part of the process in moving forward.
Do not let loneliness after your breakup or divorce push you to dive into another relationship too quickly. If you are using a rebound relationship to avoid loneliness or a break-up’s emotions, you may want to reconsider. Instead, spend time healing time with yourself before embarking again on the dating path.
Join a support group for divorced people
You are not alone when it comes to dealing with the aftermath of a divorce. Therapy groups can offer you a way to get help and understanding from others going through a similar experience. Loneliness after divorce is quite common, and chances are good, you will discover others in your situation who are willing to talk, listen, and offer advice.
Start a new routine
Losing a relationship means your regular daily routine has drastically changed. The longer the marriage, the more established that day-to-day routine likely became. A split can suddenly upend all of that and leave you feeling directionless. If you exercised regularly, get back to it. Exercise is a great way to boost endorphins, which can make you feel happier. Plan out a new routine for yourself to help balance some of the factors contributing to any lonely feelings.
Be good to yourself
Find special things that make you happy. Try going on a walk or hike, a bubble bath, some yoga, reading a good book, or listening to your favorite music. Whatever brings you joy, spend the time doing it. Building good habits can help you thrive when your relationship ends.
How long do feelings of loneliness after a divorce last?
Feelings of loneliness after a divorce will last depending on several factors. Feelings of social isolation and disconnection from others may not be constant but may come and go. For most people, the loneliness that occurs after a divorce is temporary and part of the healing process. If loneliness seems never-ending, it may be time to get help from a therapist or another health care provider.