Be 1000% Sure of your Decision
Breaking up a marriage can be traumatic for not only you and your spouse, but also your children. So, before putting things in motion, you need to be sure that you can honestly say that you did everything you could to make the marriage work. You don’t want to go through this procession without making sure you haven’t tried all the options. There’s couple’s therapy and just regular therapy. By doing this and exploring all your options before filing for divorce, it will help make this difficult process a little bit more manageable.
Imagine Your Relationship with Your Future Ex-Spouse
Perhaps you’ve already decided that you never want to see your ex-spouse ever again. Of course, if you have children or at the very least, good friends in common, you’re more than likely going to interact with them sometime in the future. What do you want this relationship to look like? As you go through your divorce, you need to consider how the actions you take will reflect on those regular or occasional interactions. Remember, you’re legally separating from them, not moving to Mars. It’s more than likely that your paths will cross again.
Plan How You’re Going to Deliver the News
It’s maybe something not everyone thinks about, but have you told your partner you want to divorce? Are you stuck on how to bring it up? Divorce is a lot bigger than simply breaking up with someone. It’s important to have enough time to be able to think about how you’re going to express your decision as clearly and calmly as possible. By now, you should also know you should expect how your spouse is going to take in and react to this news.
When you tell them, be prepared by having a bag packed and a place to stay, just in case either one of you needs to spend some time alone. If you are in an abusive situation, please seek a professional to help you or have someone you trust be there to back you up.
Spend Time with Loved Ones
Even if your divorce is cordial, you’re going to experience some form of stress and it’s more than likely going to take an emotional toll. In the middle of all the craziness, it’s so easy to forget about checking in with yourself and caring for your wellbeing. This is the perfect time to lean on your close friends and family. If they don’t already know what is going on, tell them and talk about your feelings and the decision it’s led you to make. You can also just have fun and spend quality time with them. This is a great way to relieve some stress.
Take Everything In
For a lot of people, there are some days that seem unbearable. Sometimes people who feel battered by divorce proceedings turn to things that aren’t going to help them. They’re self-medicate with alcohol or drugs, or do thing they would never think about doing, like having sex with the wrong people or vandalizing their ex-spouse’s car.
None of these are going to help – they’ll only make you feel better temporarily, and you’ll probably end up feeling worse than before. These behaviors can slow down your divorce or get in the way of your parenting, which can threaten your custody plan. The best mindset to have during the divorce is that the only way to get through it is facing it head-on.