Tips from Chandler family law attorney

If divorce only involved you and your ex, you could go your separate ways. You no longer have to deal with arguing or fighting to be heard. But if you have children, co-parenting without talking will not be so convenient. Compared to custody and parenting arrangements from only a few decades ago, co-parenting has wholly changed. Today, split custody is standard, with the focus being on what is best for the children.

The crucial part of co-parenting is healthy communication. And while you may have divorced because of poor communication, it may seem impossible for the two of you to cooperate now. There can be several reasons that parents do not talk after their divorce – usually because of personal schedules, new partners, shame, conflicting communication styles, and even dislike for one another. There are alternative parenting options to co-parenting, but you and your ex will have extra challenges if there is no communication. And no matter which approach you choose, the needs of your child should also go first. Co-parenting can only work with healthy communication.

A few critical components to healthy co-parenting include:

• Open dialogue between parents
• No bad-mouthing the other parent
•  Consistent rules in both households
• Cordial interactions at school and in public

Raising kids demands a lot of communication, so in reality, co-parenting without talking is impossible. But communication can be packaged in a variety of ways. If you and your ex are committed to co-parenting instead of sole guardianship, you will need to rise to the occasion. You may not feel great having to talk to or be nice in person, but choose how you will communicate, whether it is texting, emails, online schedulers, and commit to doing so in a healthy way.

Life after a divorce or separation requires many adjustments, including learning to live without a partner again. While living without your partner may be exciting at first, mostly if it were a tough divorce, you would not know how you’ll handle it until that first night alone after you move in, lock the door for the night, and get into bed, when it is more like to all hit you.

Loneliness after a divorce is common and even expected. Even though it didn’t work out, you shared a life with them and planned a future together. Divorce and bring up a lot of strong emotions, many often lead to feeling lonely. What are the causes, and what can help you manage these feelings after a divorce?

Common causes when feeling lonely after a divorce

Grief, sadness, and anger

Divorce can cause emotional rollercoaster. Emotions like grief, sadness, and even anger are common, and these emotions may cause you to pull away from others and isolate yourself. This isolation can lead to feelings of loneliness.

Separation from family and friends

Divorce usually means becoming separated from groups of friends and extended family, especially those you met through your ex. These people were an essential part of your shared life, and there is a chance that they are completely gone from your new life. Additionally, many divorces mean that a pet will be going with one partner and not the other. If you were close to that pet and it is no longer around, you can be left feeling alone.

Child custody

When children are involved in a divorce, there are often custody issues to handle, and they may not always come out in your favor. If you share custody with an ex, there will be times you find yourself alone without your children, which can contribute to feelings of loneliness after divorce.

Alone During the Holidays

Many couples and families have regular holiday traditions, often shared with family and friends. Divorce and break-ups can change all that. When those holidays come around, they may bring with them post-relationship loneliness.

How to deal with loneliness after a relationship ends

Accept post-relationship loneliness

Suddenly, you have lost someone important in your life. Not only are they physically gone, but their emotionally gone as well. It is common to feel disconnected and alienated from others, incredibly close mutual friends, and in-laws. While you grieve and heal from your split, it is common to experience periods of loneliness. It is a standard part of the process in moving forward.

Avoid rebounding

Do not let loneliness after your breakup or divorce push you to dive into another relationship too quickly. If you are using a rebound relationship to avoid loneliness or a break-up’s emotions, you may want to reconsider. Instead, spend time healing time with yourself before embarking again on the dating path.

Join a support group for divorced people

You are not alone when it comes to dealing with the aftermath of a divorce. Therapy groups can offer you a way to get help and understanding from others going through a similar experience. Loneliness after divorce is quite common, and chances are good, you will discover others in your situation who are willing to talk, listen, and offer advice.

Start a new routine

Losing a relationship means your regular daily routine has drastically changed. The longer the marriage, the more established that day-to-day routine likely became. A split can suddenly upend all of that and leave you feeling directionless. If you exercised regularly, get back to it. Exercise is a great way to boost endorphins, which can make you feel happier. Plan out a new routine for yourself to help balance some of the factors contributing to any lonely feelings.

Be good to yourself

Find special things that make you happy. Try going on a walk or hike, a bubble bath, some yoga, reading a good book, or listening to your favorite music. Whatever brings you joy, spend the time doing it. Building good habits can help you thrive when your relationship ends.

How long do feelings of loneliness after a divorce last?

Feelings of loneliness after a divorce will last depending on several factors. Feelings of social isolation and disconnection from others may not be constant but may come and go. For most people, the loneliness that occurs after a divorce is temporary and part of the healing process. If loneliness seems never-ending, it may be time to get help from a therapist or another health care provider.

Divorces are never easy, especially when you have children – even when you have visitation, financial expenses, and child support figured out. In a perfect world, each parent has a 50-50 duty when it comes to childcare needs during the divorce. However, this can become complicated because even a happy marriage income is rarely financially equal and after a split, there are many different elements to consider, concerning finances.

Beyond Child Support: Other Childcare Expenses

It is a common misconception that child support should cover all childcare obligations. Unfortunately, that is usually not the case. Child support is meant to make sure the child has a comfortable lifestyle, though there are many things a child may need that would not be covered by child support. These things include:

Daycare and babysitting

It is common for one or both parents to need professional childcare since it allows them to go to work. Many non-custodial parents are surprised to learn that they must contribute to this on top of child support payments. It is common for courts to require both parents to contribute to daycare bills.

Extracurricular activities

It may not be necessary, but children often want to participate in after school activities like piano lessons or ballet or they may join the football team. In these cases, both parents typically contribute to these s, even if one is paying child support.

Medical expenses

Parents need to decide which one will carry the children on their health insurance, which the can be determined with child support payments. Though, out-of-pocket medical expenses are unpredictable. Both parents, regardless of child support payment arrangements, share the s.

Give Shaffer Law Family a call today!

The best thing to do is to formulate a childcare plan long before these expenses inevitably arise. Life can be a little easier for everyone when you agree to what share of the s each parent will pay and how to resolve differences of opinions when it comes to the expenses. For guidance through the process, give our Chandler attorneys a call today at (480) 470-3030 .

Divorce is a complex process, and a complicated part of that process is the property division. Arizona is a “community property” state, meaning any items and debts acquired during a marriage will be divided equitably. Each spouse will not necessarily get an equal amount of assets, but it guarantees that the division is fair. Couples can often agree on all their debts and assets and easily divide things up their way with an attorney’s help.

We understand that an amicable divorce is not always realistic, and if this is the case for you, the courts can decide the property division. Spouses should make sure to label all separate property (those acquired before the marriage or acquired through inheritance) so that it is not factored into the division.

Differentiating community property from separate property can be complicated, especially if one spouse owns a business or another asset contributing funds. If you have a complicated property situation, we highly suggest you consult with a Chandler divorce attorney at Shaffer Family Law before deciding. You will need to establish property values with appraisals if you want to guarantee that your property division is entirely fair. We are here to help this process as quickly and smoothly as possible. Give us a call today at (480) 470-3030.

Planning arrangements for your children during the holidays can be challenging and can sometimes cause conflict. While spending as much time as possible with our children during the holidays would be ideal, but when parents are divorced, this time of year will take additional planning and cooperation. Parents can determine their holiday schedules for themselves, which is the best situation.

If both parents agree on holiday schedules that work for everyone, the court will accept that decision. The schedule can be for one holiday season, the entire year, or multiple years. It can be formalized in a written agreement, which will also provide a reference instead of relying on memories. It can also be entered as a court order once both agree.

Another alternative is to have a verbal agreement if both parents are comfortable with that. Counselors, attorneys, or mediators can help if you need some help having difficult conversations. It can be helpful to have a third person involved in this situation – someone to help parents arrive at those terms. If parents are unable or unwilling to agree on holiday arrangements, the court can make the decision. It is their job to make decisions, including parenting decisions.

Unfortunately, the arrangements may not be what parents or children would like. A judge’s decision is not based on what either parent wants or thinks should happen, but what the judge believes is in the child’s best interests. Another thing to consider is how much your children should know about the holiday arrangements. When it comes down to it, your children should know what the schedule will be over the holidays. When they know what to expect, they will be less disappointed. Of course, the amount of detail you share will depend on their age and maturity level. Regardless of how the holiday schedule came to be, the decision is for their best interest.

Most people who decide to divorce have asked themselves at one point, “should we stick it out for the kids?” Others know divorce is the only option. And while all parents may have many worries on their mind, like the future of their living situation or the custody arrangement, they still worry about how their children will deal with the divorce.While divorce is stressful for all children, some kids rebound quicker than expected.Many parents who can take steps to reduce the psychological effects of divorce on children can go a long way to helping kids adjust to the changes brought about by divorce.

Research has shown that many kids struggle the most during the first year or two after the divorce, experiencing distress, anger, anxiety, and distrust. Many kids can get used to changes in their daily routines and living arrangements. Others, unfortunately, do not seem to go back to normal. These children may experience ongoing, even lifelong, issues problems after their parents’ divorce.

Risks Families Face

From new stepparents and stepsiblings (often from both mom and dad) to adjusting to living in two different homes – divorce usually means many children go through ongoing changes to their family dynamics. Here are some common reactions your child may face after your divorce:

Mental Health Problems

For the receiver of alimony, the payments are a form of taxable income. For the payer, they are a deductible expense. Alimony payments cannot be discharged through bankruptcy, and they are specifically meant to be used to meet the needs of the spouse or former spouse. Payments intended to the couple’s child or children’s needs are considered child support, not alimony.

Divorce may increase the risk of mental health problems in children and adolescents and trigger an adjustment disorder in children. Research also shows that children from divorced parents have higher depression and anxiety.

Behavior Problems

Children from divorced families may experience more externalizing problems, like conduct disorders and impulsive behavior, compared to kids from two-parent families. In addition to behavior problems, children may also experience more conflict with peers after a divorce.

Poor Academic Performance

Children from divorced families do not always perform as well in school. Recent studies have suggested kids from divorced families tended to have trouble with school, mostly if the divorce was unexpected. In contrast, children from families where the divorce was likely did not have the same outcome.

Helping Your Children Adjust During Your Divorce

Adults who have divorced parents may have more relationship difficulties, and divorce rates are higher for those whose parents were divorced. As parents, you play a significant role in how your child adjust to a divorce. Here are some approaches you can take to help:

Co-Parent in Peace

The extreme conflict between parents increases children’s stress. Blatant hostility, like screaming and threatening one another, can be linked to behavior problems in children. Even minor tension can cause anxiety. If you are struggling to co-parent with your ex, you should seek professional help.

Do Not Put Kids in the Middle

Asking kids to choose between parents or giving them messages to give to their other parent is inappropriate. Kids who feel as though they are stuck in the middle have higher instances of depression and anxiety.

Maintain Healthy Relationships

Positive communication, enthusiasm, and low instances of conflict may be able to help your children adjust to divorce easier. Maintaining a healthy parent-child relationship following a divorce can help you develop higher self-esteem and perform better in school.

Use Consistent Discipline

Establish age-appropriate rules and follow through with consequences rules are broken. Effective and consistent discipline after divorce can help reduce misbehavior and improved academic performance.

Monitor Adolescents Closely

When parents pay close attention to what teens are doing and who they spend their time with, adolescents are less likely to exhibit behavior problems following a divorce. That means a reduced chance of using substances and fewer academic issues.

Get Professional Help

Reducing your stress level can be helpful to your child in the long run. Practice self-care and consider seeking therapy or other resources that can help you adjust to your family’s changes. Individual therapy is also helpful for children and gives them a healthy way to sort out their emotions. Family therapy may also be beneficial and support groups, which allow kids in certain age groups to meet with other children experiencing similar family changes.

Alimony, also called maintenance, is one of several financial obligations that an individual may be required to pay to their former spouse after a divorce occurs. While this amount is almost always awarded to the wife in the divorce, it can stop under a few exceptional circumstances these days. You should think of  “spousal maintenance” as a more temporary arrangement and may be received by either person when the marriage is terminated.

What Is Alimony?

Alimony is a term used to describe court-ordered payments awarded to a spouse or former spouse in a separation or divorce agreement. This support helps maintain a spouse’s standard of living after divorce until they can claim that standard without the payments.

Alimony is awarded to the lower-earning individual in marriages lasting at least ten years. The amount of alimony awarded — and the duration for which it is received — relies on several factors, including how long the marriage lasted and each partner’s current or potential incomes. Other factors that may impact who receives alimony and how much alimony is to be accepted include:

• Each spouse’s age, health, and physical capabilities 
• The paying spouse’s ability to pay alimony
• Each spouse’s comparative financial resources and earning ability
• Any excessive spending, gambling, or destruction of property committed by either spouse

For the receiver of alimony, the payments are a form of taxable income. For the payer, they are a deductible expense. Alimony payments cannot be discharged through bankruptcy, and they are specifically meant to be used to meet the needs of the spouse or former spouse. Payments intended to the couple’s child or children’s needs are considered child support, not alimony.

There are only two situations outside of an agreement between spouses or express provisions in the divorce decree that can end the obligation to provide maintenance payments as ordered:

·       Death of either party.

·       Remarriage of the party receiving maintenance.

The law also provides the ability to suspend alimony and other types of support payments if the paying party suffers a mental or physical injury that prevents him or her from working for a period. In these circumstances, payments generally resume when the situation that caused the paying party to be unable to meet their financial obligations improves.

The obligation to pay maintenance automatically ends in cases of death or remarriage. However, the paying party will need to file a motion to terminate the support and provide proof to the remarriage court. Suppose the paying party continues to make his or her payments without being aware of the remarriage. In that case, they may be entitled to a refund of those payments made after the remarriage occurs.

Once payment has been terminated due to remarriage, payment cannot be reinstated, even if the receiving party’s remarriage ends in annulment or divorce. For further explanation on the types of support that may be ordered in divorce cases in Chandler, trust the attorneys at Shaffer Family Law for accurate and complete information. You can reach the office at (480) 470-3030 today!

Many divorce disputes happen over the division of assets. Spouses may fight over what belongs to whom, with both parties staking claims to objects or property of value. However, in some instances, the fight is not over who owns certain assets but does not. Debt is a classic example. A couple that is separating spouse does not want to be stuck with the debt of their ex-partner. Divorce is painful enough, and having to deal with paying off debt caused by your ex-partner’s poor decisions is unimaginable. Luckily, there are a few safe ways to avoid being stuck with your ex’s financial obligations.

Implementing Spending limits

Credit card debt is the most common type of debt and is often discussed during divorce proceedings. If you believe divorce is inevitable, there are a few ways to fix your partner’s spending habits before going your separate ways. First, you can remove them as an authorized user, preventing them from using the credit entirely. Unfortunately, it could send strong signals that a divorce is on the horizon. Another option is to place a spending limit on the card. They can use the card, but only up to a certain amount.

Avoid joint accounts

In many states, any joint account means that both parties are responsible for paying off the debt. If you are afraid of your spouse’s spending habits, you should keep your name off the vital paperwork.

An indemnity clause

Often, when spouses face a divorce, they begin to promise that they will get their act together and pay off the remaining debt. If they do not end up following through and may turn to you for compensation, the problem is that they may turn to you if they do not end up following through. A protection clause protects if, in the end, they do not fulfill their obligations. Debt, like other things, becomes a lot more complicated during a divorce. An experienced and knowledgeable divorce lawyer can help resolve the issues and develop a legal strategy that prioritizes their client’s unique objectives.

Contact Shaffer Family Law in Chandler

At Shaffer Family Law, we strive to serve your interests best by tenaciously working to settle your case before it goes to court. Divorce court is ly, and you have less control over the outcome of your case. We encourage our clients to help shape the agreements that will affect their future. Give our Chandler office a call today for a case evaluation.