Tips from Chandler family law attorney

If you think, what could be the most challenging thing about divorce? Whether separating from your spouse or if you have family and kids. Every individual is wired differently, but one thing that remains most common in a divorce is that children become the worst victims of the separation. We understand divorces are difficult, painful, and scary in every stage of life for everyone. Parting ways with someone you’ve loved the most is never easy, and nobody wants to go through that painful phase in their lives. Simply making the decision can violate your values and leave you in two minds. Even if the divorce is amicable, it always hurts.

Meanwhile, several studies suggest that children whose parents are divorced are more likely to divorce than the ones who live in two-parent families. Interesting, so is the divorce genetic? Does it mean all children with divorced parents will end with divorce? Will it mean divorced parents have a history of divorces in their families? According to the research, it is so, but it also doesn’t tell whether a failed relationship is destined if you have the divorce gene. Some studies include people who witnessed their parents married and divorced multiple times. They believe that adults have been willing to commit for life but failed to live up to it. Such examples reflect on their environment and are likely responsible for shaping their perceptions from their life lessons. This grows them averse to commitment or getting married and having kids.

One of the reasons that divorce could be genetic is because when children see their parents fight and mend their differences, they think nothing is fatal that can destroy their parents’ marriage. However, if children see their parents fail to reconcile their issues, they are less likely to learn any message and know that a fight can destroy everything in a relationship. Women are likely to raise their children after a divorce, which means the father has lesser time to interact with their child. This results in the absence of a parent from their child’s life, making children awry about commitments and looking for ways to fill that void in their life. The other reason could be that divorce has become more common and less scandalous than ever. There was a time when previous generations chose to live with issues in their relationships; however, things are different today. So, it is likely that children who grew up in troubled families are more likely afraid of ending in dysfunctional relationships.

If you are planning to divorce your spouse or know someone who is, Shaffer Family Law can help you navigate the process. So, schedule an appointment at (480) 470-3030 today. 

If you live in Arizona and plan to divorce your spouse, remember it is a community property state meaning all assets and debts jointly acquired during the marriage will be equally distributed among both spouses regardless of their incomes. Each spouse receives half of these assets, including money, real estate, retirement plans, furniture, automobiles, and possessions. For instance, if you live in an owned house, it will be divided equally. If one of the spouses continues to live, they pay their spouse. Other assets or debts include:

• Investment assets
• Family-owned businesses and corporations
• Professional practice interests, inventory, and investments
• High-value homes such as vacation homes and investment real estate
• IRS tax debt
• Credit card debt

A divorce with the division of assets and debts can be complicated; it is always better to make a mutual decision and try to work it out. Be it going for pre-nuptials or post-nuptials. If you don’t work it out, the state law can decide how it will work in your case.

Apart from community property, there is something called separate property, which refers to the property belonging to one spouse and will not be divided among the other spouse in a divorce. It includes a spouse’s assets/debts before marriage, such as a house, business, pension fund, inheritance, education loan, or personal injury award. However, supposedly the inheritance money is added to the couple’s joint account, then it becomes community property.

Shaffer Family Law is committed and ensures you receive an equitable distribution of all assets and debts. We work with accountants, actuaries, and professional appraisers to properly value marital assets, then work for a fair proposal and evaluate the other party’s proposal. Our knowledge, skill, experience, and ability to work on settlement agreements and meet your needs are part of our legal services. Our attorneys can ensure that the property division is fair by identifying all relevant factors and identifying and assigning ownership and correct valuations to all assets and liabilities. Remember, sometimes there are tricky cases in which spouses often try and hide their assets to avoid division during the divorce. We are skilled at unearthing property and other holdings with the help of financial professionals, including forensic accountants, to trace assets outside the country. 

If you are getting divorced and need help navigating the process, schedule a consultation at (480) 470-3030 today.  

Divorce is not an easy road; it usually takes time to determine whether one wants a divorce or not. Every relationship has struggles and problems; how you deal with them is the real deal. There are always ups and downs associated with every relationship, but it depends on both how they want it to be. Sometimes, it is better to part ways than be in an unhealthy relationship. It is physically and emotionally challenging and can take a lot from you. If you have children, then it gets further complicated. Couples don’t wait for a season to divorce; it depends if they are at the crossroads in their relationship. However, studies have shown a pattern behind the divorce move.

A new year and the holiday season are usually fresh start points. Be it fitness resolution or mending relationships, people think of it as a fresh start. They make new year resolutions to mend ways with their spouse by communicating their issues in every possible way. Be more respectful and show understanding as to where they are coming from. They try to make it work their way. Everyone looks forward to holidays, and nobody wants to be a spoiler in the family. They want to spend quality time together, resolve differences and leave contentious things behind for new beginnings. If the family has children, they always look forward to having a good time together. Children are always excited about the winter or summer holidays and want to enjoy the most.

According to the University of Washington’s research, people file for divorce most in March and August. Why is that? As mentioned above, the new year or holidays are a big no, and people do not want to be called heartless for ruining everyone’s Christmas or holidays. They think taking kids on camp trips or having family and friends come over for BBQs, pool parties, and Christmas can improve things for everyone. This, too, shall pass. They think of it as an opportunity to rekindle their love for each other, and when they’re unable to reconcile, they move to the next step. Couples need to sort their finances as it may take some time, but they may file during August as they do not want to meddle with the school year. They may decide to file for divorce after summer vacations as they do not want to interfere with the starting school year and may hurry up with the procedure.

If you want to divorce your spouse, we can help you navigate the process. Please schedule a consultation with our experienced attorneys at (480) 470-3030 today.

Summer is almost over! It is time to return to school, and we understand you will likely feel the rush. It is common to be stressed ahead of the school year for parents and children. However, what’s even more stressful is if the parents have decided to part ways this summer. It can take a whole different toll on the family altogether. Divorce is never easy. It is hard to express how painful divorce is when it happens to you. It is emotionally and physically challenging as parting ways with someone you’ve loved the most is difficult. It affects you and your partner, and if you have children, they become the worst victim. Children can have extreme or mixed feelings about their parent’s divorce. Some children completely shut down without expressing themselves and look for ways to deal with the situation, such as drugs. While some struggle, and it reflects in their behavior or attitude. It is tough to see parents separating and what the future may look like.

To ensure your children’s best interests are considered, you must inform them about your decisions. It is best not to share every detail, but they have the right to know what’s happening. To make things smooth for your child, it is best to be on the same page with your ex-spouse. Some suggestions for divorced parents are to start the school year without hiccups.

• Inform the school – As parents, if you’ve decided to part ways, inform the school authorities. Nobody is asking to share every detail with the school but talking about separation will make things easier for your child at school too. Schools can add both the parents to mailing lists, such as newsletters, school updates, field trips, etc. This helps both parents to be equally part of their child’s school routine and curriculum and will not have to struggle for information at the last minute. Both can request the school teacher to attend parent-teacher meetings so they are up to date with their child’s school progress.
• Use a shared online calendar – It is good to keep a reminder of your child’s school field trips or visit with their parent. Moreover, all the school-related activities can be tracked, such as exams, report cards, and information that parents should know.
• House rules – It is suggested to follow similar regulations such as screen time, homework, or bedtime and should be discussed among both parents before implementing any rules. It is not a good idea for one parent to have such house rules while the other parent loosens up. For child’s best interest, they should be disciplined in both houses and not given an idea to differentiate between their parents.
• Supply list – Both parents must take up the responsibility for individual tasks, so there’s no overlap. It is best to split the lists; the child should go with each parent and get the items. In such a case, it avoids extra items or missing out on things in such cases.

If you need help navigating through the divorce process, schedule a consultation with Shaffer Family Law at (480) 470-3030 today.

Divorce is difficult no matter at what stage you decide to part ways. It is not easy to lose someone you loved and had a good time with. Divorce is a long road from emotional and financial aspects. It’s not just your marital status; your entire life turns around. If you have children, they will likely suffer as seeing their parents part ways. Parents must ensure their child’s safety and best interests during a divorce. As both parents decide to move on, it becomes essential to think through how the child would react and how their life would be. If parents do not assess the situation thoroughly, the whole process can become complicated. Divorce is tough, period!

There are many things that a friend can do during such difficult times.

Listen to Them

Sometimes people need someone to listen to them no matter what. Don’t worry; they do not need answers or advice, but maybe they want to hear that they are not alone.

Help Them in Moving

Moving is a strenuous and exhausting process. With children, your responsibilities and tasks increase. Packing stuff can make you emotional, and comfort and support can help ease the process.

Invite Them Over, even if They Say No

It can be difficult for people to be left alone suddenly. Hang out with mutual friends or try to make plans with them, even if they disagree. Some people will not have the energy to socialize or need to, but you can step in and encourage them to go out.

Don’t Talk Ill About Their Ex

Remember to stay calm and composed no matter how much you want to talk trash about your friend’s ex. Avoid any ill talks as one day your friend might talk negatively about their ex, and the next day it can be the opposite. Listen to them and validate your friend’s emotions rather than emphasizing your opinions.

Help Them Out

You can take them to the doctor if they are sick. If your friend needs someone to take care of their child as they have some urgent appointment, you can step in. Dog sitting or other things, you can always step in to help if they find it difficult to manage expenses or trust someone until they figure it out.

Stop By for a Meal

Surprise them by bringing food over for dinner or maybe just a pizza to talk over things.

Don’t Push Them for Details

Everyone functions differently and has their way of dealing with grief; some people are open about it while others are not. Do not encourage or bug them whenever they are unwilling to talk.

If your friend is going through a divorce and needs legal consultation, you can reach out to Shaffer Family Law and schedule an appointment at (480) 470-3030.

Child abuse doesn’t only refer to extreme behavior by the parents. Any activity or behavior threatening a child’s physical and emotional well-being is considered abuse. It includes verbal abuse as emotional trauma, while bruises, cuts, and scratches are physical abuse. Any abuse can lead to emotional trauma, and the impact can be everlasting on the child. It can deter a child’s self-confidence, future relations, and ability to function at home or school.

Child abuse can lead to trust issues. If the child is abused, they will find it hard to trust anyone; if parents break their child’s trust, then whom should the child trust. It becomes difficult to trust anybody in future relationships. If the child is belittled, imagine how difficult it can be to overcome such feelings. They might even think they are worthless and may neglect their education and end up with low-paying jobs. It becomes challenging for abused children to express themselves and may keep everything with them. It may act out in other forms and even develop anxiety or depression. They may turn to drugs or alcohol to numb those feelings.

There are different forms of abuse physical, sexual, emotional, and child neglect.

Physical Abuse

Physical abuse means hitting, bruising, kicking, or causing bodily harm to the child.

Sexual Abuse

Sexual abuse is complicated as it has many layers of guilt and shame. It is not always about physical contact but the environment you are exposed to. Children are too afraid to come forward as they think nobody would believe them. 

Emotional Abuse

Words can hurt a lot, and constant negative comments, belittling, shaming, comparing the child to others, and calling them worthless are hurtful. Ignoring the child, threats, no physical contact like hugs, kisses, etc., and even exposing the child to violence against others can severely damage the child’s mental health and social development.

Child Neglect

It is about not being able to provide proper food, clothing, shelter, health insurance, and other necessities. Sometimes it is not conspicuous, any illness like depression or anxiety, and if you are not involved and part of your child’s life, you neglect them.

Child abuse and neglect can happen in any family, but certain situations make a greater risk.

• Domestic violence – If the parent is abused and tries to protect the child, it can still damage the child’s mental health or social development.
• Lack of parenting skills – Some caregivers never learned the necessary skills for good parenting. For instance, teen parents might have unrealistic expectations about how much care babies and small children need; parents who have been victims of child abuse may only know how to raise their children similarly.
• Substance abuse – Parents who are drunk or high may be unable to take care of their children, leading to physical abuse.
• Stress or lack of support – Parenting is a stressful job if you’re raising children without the support of family or friends. So, children with special needs, disabilities, or problematic behaviors are also challenging and require support.

Have you tried hard to work it out for years, but it doesn’t work? You’ve been thinking about your marriage for a long time, and now, you want to end it. Somehow you are tired and done trying to make it work. Then you must make up your mind about what exactly you want in life. Remember, it’s a long road, and with two people involved, you never know how tumultuous or smooth the process will be. But remember, you can do your part and try to make it as smooth as possible.

There is no easy answer to anything, but you can surely keep these suggestions in mind to try and make the tough conversation simple.

You must be prepared for the ‘D’ conversation – Before starting the conversation, you must have a vague idea of how your spouse feels in the marriage. Has he dropped the ‘D’ bomb before? Does he get uncomfortable? How is your relationship going? When you live with a person, you somewhat understand your relationship and where it is going. You may also try visiting a therapist or a marriage counselor to help understand your feelings better and prepare for the conversation. They allow you to think through situations by overcoming your emotions.  

Time and place – It is essential to consider the timing of starting this conversation. Your spouse might be undergoing some rough times at work. Work pressure, losing projects, changing jobs, or even sensitive times of sickness and death in the family. If your spouse is overwhelmed with things, it is better to avoid the ‘D’ conversation. It would be a bad idea to begin a conversation during such times. The place is equally important as your time. You can’t expect to walk away by stating you want a divorce. You both need to sit down and have some space for this conversation.

Gentle and firm – Be prepared to have this conversation gently and calmly. Remember, the discussion you are about to have would be enough to make situations go out of control. It is not a good idea if you start it out of anger and frustration and expect your spouse to respond calmly. Meanwhile, be firm in your decision as you have thought it through, and there’s no turning back. Leading the conversation peacefully will help you be mindful and not rush into things. Then give them some time to take in the news.

Ready for spouse’s reaction – Your spouse might be in shock or already aware of it. You must be clear that none of your discussions is blamed on your spouse or lead to a fight. The discussion should be subtle, with no direct blame. Give them some time and try to empathize, as it can be a shocker to your spouse.

Seek help – Discussion can unleash your emotions, and you might need some help. It can be a lot to deal with, as parting ways with someone you love is the hardest. It can be an emotional roller coaster for both, as the whole process is overwhelming.

Don’t discuss the details – However, if you and your spouse are on the same page, remember to play it safe. Please do not take it further by discussing the division of assets, property, and more. It is best to consult an attorney than talk about anything beforehand. The attorney will analyze likely possibilities that can work in your favor.

If you want a divorce and need help during the whole process, our experienced attorneys can help you. They will do a thorough examination of your case and will work in your best interests. To get started, schedule an appointment at (480) 470-3030.       

The thought of coming to terms with the most difficult feelings is unimaginable! Death, divorce, or the things you are attached to the most is the hardest of all. It is one of the most challenging phases of life and good enough to break you down emotionally. You muster the courage to rise above the shame, embarrassment, and the thought of what people would think comes in most people’s lives, but it usually takes time. It is often confusing for parties involved as living in the situation and telling it to people is a whole different challenge altogether. It requires courage to fight back your emotions and be open to everyone, as once you tell your family and friends, there are likely chances they would understand, they won’t, or maybe you would get mixed reactions.

How to open up to family and friends about divorce?

Telling Your Family

If you have children, confronting them about the whole situation is essential. They need to know the reason for sudden changes in their lives as they are part of it. Hence, their lives would be affected and should not be excluded from any conversations or decisions. Children should know about their parent’s separation, and whatever they feel should be discussed without any hesitations. Every child is different and can react according to their personality; some may be emotional, confused, or even have extreme reactions and shut down entirely after the news. 

Even if one is part of a separation or not, divorced parties should tell the news to their loved ones – parents. Remember, sharing each detail is not helpful; setting the context and sharing the news is better. Try to keep things private and ask others too. Do not speak ill of your partner, and make sure you don’t do it in the future. Some parents will support you in the decision, while others may have mixed reactions depending on your relationship. How long did your relationship last? Your spouse’s relationship with your parents and other things may shape your parents’ reactions. It may or may not be a long road for the parties involved.

Telling Your Friends

It becomes the hardest to share if you and your spouse have common friends. Friends are the common factor, who will be aware of both sides of the story, and it can be tough for them too. There are likely chances that the friend would take sides of the person they are closest to. When such a situation arises, it becomes complicated to be a part of the group or hang out together as either would lookout for ways to avoid certain awkwardness. Likely, an end to your friendship with others. However, this is something you can’t escape from, and the sooner you accept, the better you will be. You must respect it and try to make things smoother without any escalations. This will only help you and your state of mind. Remember, some friends will stand through thick and thin no matter what happens. Keeping your friends or other support systems close during tough times is essential.

It will help if you do not lose hope and be strong and mindful during such difficult times. Being swayed away by emotions will do more harm than good. If you are considering divorcing your spouse and need help during the whole process, our experienced attorneys can help you. They will do a thorough examination of your case and will work in your best interests. To get started, schedule an appointment at (480) 470-3030.

Divorce is difficult for everyone, and if children are involved, they are worst affected by it. A child’s well-being becomes a primary concern. Parents must ensure that their child is safe, loved, and protected throughout the divorce. It is advised to work according to the child’s best interests. A child needs both parents for significant social, psychological, and overall growth. It is always better for a child to have both parents in their life than just one. However, each spouse’s situation differs, but the whole idea is just the well-being of their child. Therefore, joint legal custody is ideal for parents who are willing to work out with each other for their child’s best interests. It means both parents share legal custody of their child and have legal rights to make decisions for their children in education, healthcare, extracurricular activities, and religion.  

Benefits of Joint Custody

Set Up Parenting Time for a Healthy Routine

Setting up a routine depending on respective schedules is a good habit. Parents can decide on the days their child will be visiting each parent. It allows for planning activities in advance that they wish to do with their child. Also, work around time off days, accordingly. The child can spend quality time with both parents. It is beneficial for both after all, parents love their children and want to be part of their lives.

Discipline Your Child Together

Disciplining your child is crucial for their overall development. Be it joys or difficult times, both parents need to be involved in their child’s life to make them feel loved and protected. Both parents sharing responsibilities will give no leeway to the child and not allow them to blame the other parent. It is essential to inculcate values and responsibilities in your child at a young age. A great understanding between parents and children is a sign of a healthy relationship.

Share the Expenses

Joint custody means sharing legal responsibilities of your child, including expenses. As the child visits both parents, specific needs arise at any moment, such as some stationery for a project or other things. Each parent must cover the of the child when with them. However, in a situation like when the child has been with an ex-spouse for a week and visits you with an urgent need to pay for a field trip, it must be divided.

More Time for Yourself

This is more like time off, and you can spend time doing what you like. Moreover, self-care is quite essential. You can plan outings with friends or participate in social clubs or activities.

Helps Your Child Understand Each Parent’s Individual Strengths

Both parents have legal rights to make decisions for their children. They will do accordingly, keeping in mind the best interest. It allows your kids to see the individual strengths of parents in making their relationships work. 

Divorce is difficult no matter at what stage you decide to part ways. It is not easy to lose someone you have loved and had a good time together. You’ve had some good times and embraced each other during adverse times. Divorce is a long road from emotional and financial aspects.

What is Alimony?

Alimony means payment and maintenance of a spouse, either by lump sum or ongoing basis in a divorce or legal separation. The idea is to provide alimony, support your spouse with lower income, and provide them with similar living standards enjoyed during their marriage. It is difficult for couples to come to terms emotionally during separation but gets even tougher with what follows. There are several questions about alimony and how it works. It can be either a court’s order or even a mutual agreement to support after the divorce. Remember, states use a different terms for alimony, such as spousal support or maintenance, but they all mean the same thing. State laws on alimony determine how it works, how judges decide when to award spousal support, and how much.

Who Gets Alimony?

Remember, it is not always about husbands must pay the alimony to support their wives. It can be done either way, for example, if the wife earns well and the husband needs support. It all depends on the spouse, and if they have a lower income and need financial help, they can ask for alimony. Meanwhile, alimony does not mean equalizing a divorced couple’s financial situation. It simply means to make sure that both spouses meet their financial needs.

Who Decides Alimony?

A judge weighs in many factors before deciding on alimony. They look at the earnings of both parties and if the party paying alimony can manage it. Also, whether the requesting party genuinely needs it or not. There are times people are ingenuine about their earnings to extract money. The party must request alimony rather than thinking they will get it by default. 

How Does Alimony Work?

If the court decides it, a date is fixed on which a specific amount is sent/received. Sometimes it is weekly or bi-weekly. The alimony payments will continue unless a life-changing event happens for the supported spouse, such as remarriage, cohabitating with another adult, a new-high paying job, retirement, or death.

Can You Avoid it?

Having a prenuptial agreement before or post-nuptial during the marriage can be helpful. The prenuptial or post-nuptial agreements include how much the alimony would be, how long you have to pay, and whether to write checks or use automatic payments. It is usually much easier to come to terms with agreements in a loving relationship than when going through a divorce. Shaffer Family Law can help you navigate through such difficult times. Our experienced legal attorneys can help you with legal advice in your best interests.