Tips from Chandler family law attorney

A divorce is a life-changing event, like moving to a new place, finding a new job, getting married, etc. Break-ups are complex no matter what is said otherwise. Parting ways with your partner is painful and can break you down completely. It can trigger anger, sadness, bitterness, hurtful feelings, or relief. What happens after you divorce your partner? Do you intend to stay in touch? Do you feel interested in talking to or meeting up with your ex? Every individual is wired differently and functions accordingly. It can be hard to answer these questions blanketly. Some have arguments based on whether they have children and share their custody or other everyday things that make them come together. What if there are no kids, but you both work at the same organization? How will that turn out if you cut complete ties with your ex-partner?

It is essential to maintain amicable ties no matter how things have ended between both. However, men and women have different opinions. Some women have no issues communicating with their ex, while men think the opposite. They are not interested in keeping ties with an ex if they don’t have children. Men have a tough time accepting and moving on if they continue their connections with exes. But it varies person-to-person.

No longer be dependent on an ex

It will help if you don’t worry about managing and keeping your life together. With broken ties, you don’t have to stress over things your ex did or helped you with. Remember, there’s always a way out of everything. We understand how emotionally overwhelming it is to part ways with a loved one you had imagined spending your life with. Be mindful of your surroundings and seek the support of your family and friends who can help you. Look online, as it may help provide you with some information that can shape your perspective.

Don’t badmouth

Badmouthing your ex is not a great idea. If you talk ill about your ex in front of your kids or others, remember it is just your side of the story. It’s a two-way street; your ex would also have their perspective. This can negatively impact your children as they might become bitter or end up with sides. Children should have a healthy relationship with both parents. What you and your ex had should be between you both. It is good to maintain your dignity and not fall for it.  

Handle it well

If you happen to work at the same office, be amicable. Don’t show bitterness toward each other to your colleagues. It might give you a bad reputation at the office as you try to mix your personal and professional space. It can harm you, affecting your state of mind and work. 

Our legal attorneys can help you throughout the divorce and resolve many complicated matters involved in a divorce and make sure you move into your new life smoothly. Schedule a consultation with Shaffer Family Law at (480) 470-3030 today.

Going through a divorce is never easy. It is as painful when you experience a personal loss. It is mournful like the death of a relative, as parting ways with someone you’ve loved the most is the hardest. It can be challenging to come to terms with the surroundings, and you can take as much time as you need. The emotions run high and can be overwhelming for the person. Even if you are the one who initiated the divorce, you will likely feel different emotions. Sometimes you may feel out of control, get angry, and feel sorrow over how it has turned out as you never married to end up in divorce.

Don’t stop yourself from feeling what you want to

It is a highly emotional phase of your life, and it is normal to feel what you may be going through. You can take your time to grieve. Sometimes you will feel like crying over losing your loved one. You will think about your wedding; you may look at photos and videos, watch them and cry without hesitation. Just let yourself free from that space and give yourself that time. It is one of the most difficult phases of your life, and it will take time to accept reality. Sometimes people live in denial about their divorce and continue to feel that sorrow repeatedly. It is toxic; you must set yourself free after the grieving phase.

Do what you like

If you don’t feel like getting up from bed and want to indulge in the guilty pleasure of overeating ice cream or chocolate, go ahead. But try and be mindful of your overeating. If you don’t feel like doing anything, try relaxing, practicing meditation, or doing other mindful activities. You may take a long shower to relax your mind and body.

Pursue a hobby or any activity

If you’ve been longing to learn a musical instrument, how to paint, or anything you like. Try and start working toward it. It is a good idea to indulge in something new and keep your mind off the overwhelming thoughts. You may feel sad and compare your life and lifestyle during marriage and how it has become now.

Spend time with your friends

Go out and enjoy yourself with your friends; you need to divert your mind and not be occupied with dark thoughts. Overthinking and constantly being in that negative space can pull you down, so do not let yourself be into it.

Reinvent yourself

When you’ve been one-half of a couple, it can make you think about what you are after it. It is time to start over and try something new which makes you happy, as it is you who matters in the end.       

When you get married or move in together, your lives are tied together in many ways, including your home loans, power bills, and relationship status on social media sites. When it ends, it hurts as you have placed all your trust in one person. And when that trust breaks, you tend to lose a lot in terms of everything. It is emotionally and physically overwhelming, and it can be difficult to manage during such tough times. Sometimes, it is difficult to come to terms with and accept the changes in your life. However, it becomes even more challenging if you decide to part ways with your partner and things are rough with the separation.  

Imagine if a stranger knows a lot about you, it can be weird and simultaneously terrifying with the thought of what if your information is misused. Now think this, you’ve shared a life with your partner and how well they know about you, your mother’s maiden name, or details about you or your family close to you. It is nearly impossible for a person who has loved you not to know things about you. Then your partner becomes your ex; things didn’t end as they should have. If your ex has turned out to be nasty, and you both cannot find any common ground over decisions, believe it or not, it is an alarming situation. 

Make a list of shared account

When we say your partner, who is now your ex, knows a lot about you, it is pretty valid to an extent. Make a list of shared accounts, such as video streaming apps, home locks, indoor security cameras, Wi-Fi networks, and others, and change passwords immediately. It becomes problematic if your ex remembers the pattern of the way you think while creating passwords. You must think hard and differently about the things your ex doesn’t know. If something didn’t go well between you and you’ve got the slightest idea of how far things can go, it is time to act. However, even if things were amicable, it is best to make the changes. When you are together, knowing everything about the other is natural. But the same thing becomes scary when you both decide to go separate ways.

Remove life events from social media

Today, social media is inseparable from our real life. It constantly reminds us of our life events and brings back good or bad memories that we may or may not want to recall. It is time you delete the memories or constant reminders that you get. You may delete or archive photos from Facebook, Instagram, or others and adjust your stories on social media. It is best to wipe out all the memories from all your devices, if not possible, from the brain.

Turn off tracking services

If you share a joint phone account with your ex, you may need to remove your ex from the account or make sure he doesn’t have access to your location services. It only works for mobile phone lines on the same billing account or has the Family Companion app paired with parent devices.

Reset your devices

Shared laptops, phones, or any internet-connected device your ex has had contact with should be considered a suspect. Have a backup of all the necessary files and photos, and factory reset your devices.

No matter what people say otherwise, divorce is tough and a challenge. It is difficult to let go of someone you’ve loved the most and spent some good times together. It takes a lot from you emotionally, physically, and financially. If it involves children, it becomes further complicated as they are the worst victims. It is essential to keep them involved in your decisions as it affects their lives too. Apart from what you are dealing with at home emotionally, financially, and physically, it is a lot more to comprehend than that.

It is easy to get lost in the twists and turns of this seemingly endless divorce process. We understand you are already overwhelmed with everything and will likely be swayed by your emotions. This is the time to make things easier on yourself and know where you are heading. It is always good to see where you are going, as it can reduce some of the stress during such difficult times in your life. Ultimately, making a decision that benefits you and your children should be the goal. Some people would like to move fast in a divorce and get done with it, whereas others would take one step at a time and go slow about it.

It depends on the state you live in if you want to know how much time it takes to get a divorce. Not all states have a cooling-off period; it is a waiting period that must pass before your divorce finalizes. Suppose you and your spouse agree upon every part of the divorce – including custody, property division, living arrangements, and more; you are more likely to move quickly in your divorce process. However, if you and your spouse are not on the same page, it may even take several years to finalize the divorce.

Moreover, it comes down to how complex your situation is. If you’ve not been married for long and have lesser negotiable assets, your divorce may not be complicated if negotiated on most of the parts. However, if the marriage lasted for a long time with assets, it could take a long time to find a middle ground. Sometimes, it isn’t easy to understand why things happen as they do.

So, if you are planning to divorce your spouse and need help navigating the process, our experienced legal attorneys can help smoothen the process. Schedule a consultation with Shaffer Family Law at (480) 470-3030 today.   

Parting ways is never easy, but a wiser decision than sticking around in an unhappy marriage. It comes with many responsibilities, and you must deal with them mindfully. If you have children, their safety and well-being become a priority. What is in the best interest of your child becomes of utmost importance. During a divorce, it is highly likely to have disagreements on many things; in some cases, it is common in every matter. With children, the responsibilities grow, and it is good to co-parent for your child’s best interest. However, you may end up with disagreements over many things, but if you create an understanding, it will benefit everyone in the long run.

Co-parenting time

The first bone of contention is time; it is important to understand that spending a good amount of time with kids, just like before the divorce or separation, is reasonable. Both parents should spend ample time with kids and remember that school or children away for activities do not count as time with parents. It is time to plan accordingly, so there are no disagreements at the first step. Research suggests that a child with a relationship with both parents is likelier to be happy than a child with a relationship with a single parent.

Child support

Child support amounts are based on each parent’s monthly income. It is the first responsibility of both parents, including gender-neutral parents, to pay for the support of their children. Even if both parents jointly share custody of the child, parents will still accept child support as it depends on the case and state laws that decide on child support. It is vital to abide by and be on the same page as your ex.

Bring child between

It is wrong if your spouse is using kids to raise concerns about an issue. It is important to deal with the issues directly rather than involving kids. Meet with your ex at a place where you can discuss the issue at length without involving kids. 

Discipline

It is common if one parent is more lenient about the child not actively pursuing homework or other activities while the other may not be. It is likely that the parent would want to improve their child’s habits and discipline them but are struggling as the child continues to behave in the same way as with their other parent.

Micromanagement

Sometimes some parents are particular about everything in their child’s life. When the child visits the ex’s place, they would want to know everything and if the child was cared for well and did not do things they should not be doing.

If you need help, our experienced attorneys can guide you in the best possible way. Schedule a consultation with Shaffer Family Law at (480) 470-3030 today.

Divorce is hard. You may be dealing with a lot physically, emotionally, and financially. It is an exhausting process that can overwhelm you while doing even the simplest tasks. It is not easy, and you may be stressed over many things that may or may not require your immediate attention. You can look for ways to help you strengthen yourself, move on from the divorce, and try to live your life on your terms. Start taking care of yourself and live your best life.

Take downtime – It is essential to take some time out too. Be it soaking in the bathtub or being away from the phone. Just take some time and re-evaluate the life-changing events in your life. It could be simply sitting down with absolutely nothing and reassessing the life-changing event. Also, think about areas that require change. It may be starting afresh with a new job in a different state. 

Family – You can reach out to your loved ones and tell them you need their support. They can be your vast support system and be there for all the ups and downs in your life. Honestly, you may feel lonely as separating from a loved one can be complicated and take a toll on you! Divorce is never easy; detaching from a loved one can break you completely.

Create a schedule – It is vital to create a schedule and give ample time to the essential things in your life. Prepare a list of things you need to work on and pursue a hobby or activity. Do what you enjoy; you need to start afresh. Some people enjoy doing their work, so you may indulge yourself in work but do not become a workaholic with no life outside your work.

Meditate – You might be overwhelmed with everything around you, and meditation can help improve your focus. It enables you to be mindful of your surroundings. It can be a quick stress reliever, reverse your body’s stress response, and relax. It works on physical and emotional stress and calms your body and mind.

Participate in activity – Stressful times can pull you down, turning your life upside down. It is essential to move on and do what you like. You may learn something new through a class, such as art, dance, music, or a language. You may join a book or film club, visit local museums, do gardening, volunteer at a school, library, hospital, or animal shelter, or visit community and senior centers and participate in their activities.

Schedule an appointment with Shaffer Family Law at (480) 470-3030 in case you need any help.

Divorces are tough and physically and emotionally challenging. Either spouse would likely be unwilling to live in the same space. But who should be leaving the house if both have their names on the real estate agreement? It is a tricky thing and a huge mess. Who gets to stay? It can get a bit messy! Each state has its laws; for instance, if you plan to divorce in Arizona, the property gets divided among both unless the house belonged to one of the spouses before the marriage. However, several questions arise, like whether you have to move out and will moving out cause one spouse to lose their rights. Are there chances of you losing your child custody if you move out?

Move Out or Not

When someone divorces their spouse, they may want to stay away from them. If you decide to divorce and continue living in the house without sharing the bedroom, it can become difficult to prove that you both are leading separate lives. Some states may allow cohabitating while others do not. If you move out, you must look for alternate housing. It is great if you’ve had strong relationships with your parents and friends who are willing to support you financially and emotionally. It is essential to build a great support system that you can depend upon, as they can be of enormous help in times of need. It becomes further complicated if you have a family with child(ren). If the family stays in the same house, they can also consider sending their child(ren) to grandparents. However, if you decide to move out, it is better to clarify your intentions.

Make Your Intentions Clear

Moving out of the family home doesn’t mean you lose the rights of the house or the legal decision-making of the child(ren). But you shouldn’t take any chances and write everything down on paper. You might have to create an inventory of all the personal property, such as furniture and appliances, and take photographs. Even if you or your spouse do not agree to the terms, write all the details, and both need to sign it. Even if you do not have an attorney now, you might want to seek some legal advice on the agreement.

Child’s Legal Decision Making

The children suffer the most in a divorce, and keeping them involved is important. The court considers several factors to create the type of legal decision-making and visitation arrangement that best serves a child’s emotional and physical needs. Some of the factors include:

• Each parent’s physical and mental health
• Each parent’s ability to provide stability
• Child’s relationship with each parent
• Each parent’s history of child abuse or domestic violence
• Child’s adjustment to home and community

The court doesn’t favor one parent over the other but considers all the above factors based on the child’s best interests and overall well-being. The court has the discretion to make legal decision-making equal or allow one parent to make all decisions affecting the child. For instance, the court may allow the mother to make health-related decisions, while the father might have the right to make educational decisions. If the court orders equal decision-making, both parents meet and agree on them; however, if parents can’t, the court decides.

Our legal attorneys can help you navigate the process if you want a divorce. Schedule a consultation with Shaffer Family Law at (480) 470-3030 today.

If you think, what could be the most challenging thing about divorce? Whether separating from your spouse or if you have family and kids. Every individual is wired differently, but one thing that remains most common in a divorce is that children become the worst victims of the separation. We understand divorces are difficult, painful, and scary in every stage of life for everyone. Parting ways with someone you’ve loved the most is never easy, and nobody wants to go through that painful phase in their lives. Simply making the decision can violate your values and leave you in two minds. Even if the divorce is amicable, it always hurts.

Meanwhile, several studies suggest that children whose parents are divorced are more likely to divorce than the ones who live in two-parent families. Interesting, so is the divorce genetic? Does it mean all children with divorced parents will end with divorce? Will it mean divorced parents have a history of divorces in their families? According to the research, it is so, but it also doesn’t tell whether a failed relationship is destined if you have the divorce gene. Some studies include people who witnessed their parents married and divorced multiple times. They believe that adults have been willing to commit for life but failed to live up to it. Such examples reflect on their environment and are likely responsible for shaping their perceptions from their life lessons. This grows them averse to commitment or getting married and having kids.

One of the reasons that divorce could be genetic is because when children see their parents fight and mend their differences, they think nothing is fatal that can destroy their parents’ marriage. However, if children see their parents fail to reconcile their issues, they are less likely to learn any message and know that a fight can destroy everything in a relationship. Women are likely to raise their children after a divorce, which means the father has lesser time to interact with their child. This results in the absence of a parent from their child’s life, making children awry about commitments and looking for ways to fill that void in their life. The other reason could be that divorce has become more common and less scandalous than ever. There was a time when previous generations chose to live with issues in their relationships; however, things are different today. So, it is likely that children who grew up in troubled families are more likely afraid of ending in dysfunctional relationships.

If you are planning to divorce your spouse or know someone who is, Shaffer Family Law can help you navigate the process. So, schedule an appointment at (480) 470-3030 today. 

If you live in Arizona and plan to divorce your spouse, remember it is a community property state meaning all assets and debts jointly acquired during the marriage will be equally distributed among both spouses regardless of their incomes. Each spouse receives half of these assets, including money, real estate, retirement plans, furniture, automobiles, and possessions. For instance, if you live in an owned house, it will be divided equally. If one of the spouses continues to live, they pay their spouse. Other assets or debts include:

• Investment assets
• Family-owned businesses and corporations
• Professional practice interests, inventory, and investments
• High-value homes such as vacation homes and investment real estate
• IRS tax debt
• Credit card debt

A divorce with the division of assets and debts can be complicated; it is always better to make a mutual decision and try to work it out. Be it going for pre-nuptials or post-nuptials. If you don’t work it out, the state law can decide how it will work in your case.

Apart from community property, there is something called separate property, which refers to the property belonging to one spouse and will not be divided among the other spouse in a divorce. It includes a spouse’s assets/debts before marriage, such as a house, business, pension fund, inheritance, education loan, or personal injury award. However, supposedly the inheritance money is added to the couple’s joint account, then it becomes community property.

Shaffer Family Law is committed and ensures you receive an equitable distribution of all assets and debts. We work with accountants, actuaries, and professional appraisers to properly value marital assets, then work for a fair proposal and evaluate the other party’s proposal. Our knowledge, skill, experience, and ability to work on settlement agreements and meet your needs are part of our legal services. Our attorneys can ensure that the property division is fair by identifying all relevant factors and identifying and assigning ownership and correct valuations to all assets and liabilities. Remember, sometimes there are tricky cases in which spouses often try and hide their assets to avoid division during the divorce. We are skilled at unearthing property and other holdings with the help of financial professionals, including forensic accountants, to trace assets outside the country. 

If you are getting divorced and need help navigating the process, schedule a consultation at (480) 470-3030 today.  

Divorce is not an easy road; it usually takes time to determine whether one wants a divorce or not. Every relationship has struggles and problems; how you deal with them is the real deal. There are always ups and downs associated with every relationship, but it depends on both how they want it to be. Sometimes, it is better to part ways than be in an unhealthy relationship. It is physically and emotionally challenging and can take a lot from you. If you have children, then it gets further complicated. Couples don’t wait for a season to divorce; it depends if they are at the crossroads in their relationship. However, studies have shown a pattern behind the divorce move.

A new year and the holiday season are usually fresh start points. Be it fitness resolution or mending relationships, people think of it as a fresh start. They make new year resolutions to mend ways with their spouse by communicating their issues in every possible way. Be more respectful and show understanding as to where they are coming from. They try to make it work their way. Everyone looks forward to holidays, and nobody wants to be a spoiler in the family. They want to spend quality time together, resolve differences and leave contentious things behind for new beginnings. If the family has children, they always look forward to having a good time together. Children are always excited about the winter or summer holidays and want to enjoy the most.

According to the University of Washington’s research, people file for divorce most in March and August. Why is that? As mentioned above, the new year or holidays are a big no, and people do not want to be called heartless for ruining everyone’s Christmas or holidays. They think taking kids on camp trips or having family and friends come over for BBQs, pool parties, and Christmas can improve things for everyone. This, too, shall pass. They think of it as an opportunity to rekindle their love for each other, and when they’re unable to reconcile, they move to the next step. Couples need to sort their finances as it may take some time, but they may file during August as they do not want to meddle with the school year. They may decide to file for divorce after summer vacations as they do not want to interfere with the starting school year and may hurry up with the procedure.

If you want to divorce your spouse, we can help you navigate the process. Please schedule a consultation with our experienced attorneys at (480) 470-3030 today.