Tips from Chandler family law attorney

Extracurricular activities are good for your child. It helps them channel their energy well and enhances your child’s overall development. Participation in extracurriculars is a great advantage for the child to earn a scholarship. Not just one, but there are ample opportunities to participate in many activities. Be it any skill development, time management, or group activities for building social skills, it can be anything that may interest your child. Honestly, it can be hard to make that choice with so many options. On top, if you are divorced and sharing the custody of your child, it can be quite a challenge. Imagine all the children being part of different games and the practice sessions and tournaments possibly clashing. How is it feasible for a parent to be present for their children participating in various competitions simultaneously? Clearly, not!

Even two-parent families face this problem of being unable to be present in two places at once or whose game to attend when practices and tournaments are being held simultaneously for different sports at different locations. But when you share the custody of your child and who pays for what, then difficulty increases. Many challenges come with shared custody, which is more complex than you think.

Sign up

Even though extracurricular activities are helpful for a child, the first hurdle is whether to sign up for them. Also, deciding which activity to take up is a great deal. Parents want their children to participate in various activities, and conflicting schedules can be a huge problem. Then it comes down to making a choice, starting from here. One parent would want their kid to participate in dramatics, while another parent may want the kid to play a sport. Depending on the kid’s schedule, if only one thing is possible, then pursue that. The child must do one thing at a time, like sports this year and dramatics next year or vice versa. Parents do not want their children to have a busy schedule, which means spending more time with them.

Pick up and drop off

Parents have the most difficulty managing pick up or drop off during shared custody. It gets messy when either parent cannot pick up or drop off their child from the other parent’s house. Then the other parent drops off, picks up, or does not do accordingly, depending on your relations. It is great if you are flexible and able to make minor adjustments based on any situation that arises. The parent can drop the kid off for extracurricular activities, and the other parent can pick up the child after the session.

Finances

Shared custody means each parent must contribute to the child’s development, including school, clothing, stationery, extracurricular activities, and other necessities. Meanwhile, certain situations wherein the child wanted stationery items and forgot to bring them up at another parent’s house can happen, which may not be unusual. While it may have been the responsibility of another parent but can manage by spending on the child’s other needs or expenses.

So, communication is the key, and maintaining cordial relations for your child’s sake is good. Keeping your child’s schedule handy is essential, so you do not fall behind. If you feel the need for some legal help and advice on shared custody, child visitation, or other matters, schedule a consultation with Shaffer Family Law at (480) 470-3030.

Divorce is difficult and even complicated when you have children involved in it. However, the care should continue irrespective of the separation. If parents have decided to divorce and cannot agree on a plan to raise their children, then the court will order a plan or decide on matters concerning their health and welfare. How much time will the child spend with their parents, and who will be the primary caregiver? Even relatives or other people may ask for custody or parenting time. The court’s decision will be based on the child’s best interest. A child’s welfare is central to any custody decision. Courts consider many factors to create custody or visitation arrangements that best serve the child’s physical and emotional needs, such as parents’ physical and mental health, the child’s relationship with each parent, their ability to take care of their child, any history of domestic violence or child abuse, and how the child adjusts to a new environment.

After thoroughly evaluating everything; the court will give joint or sole custody of the child. Parents can share legal custody even when one parent has sole custody. However, a parent with sole custody will have an advantage in relocation. When a parent wants to relocate with their child, the judge will look at how the move will negatively affect the child. Parents will submit evidence, and the judge will determine if moving is appropriate or, if so, then how to adjust the custody. They may also hear live testimony of the parent, friends, relatives, and any guardian involved in the case. There are many things that the judge will consider and base his decision upon:

• Does the move benefit the child or keep the child away from another parent?
• Will the relocation improve the child’s quality of life?
• How has the child reacted to separation and visitation? Is the child longing for a parent?
• Considering the past, present, and future of the child’s relationship with both parents.
• Child’s adjustment to a new place.
• Child’s preference, if any.

A non-custodial parent’s right can be affected if the other parent provides enough evidence that the move is in the child’s best interest. Parents talking among themselves and developing a parenting agreement will help both parents protect their relationship with their child.

Divorce is complicated, no matter how much you deny it. It is physically and emotionally draining and overwhelming; recovering can take a while. Parting ways with your partner is painful and can break you down completely. It can trigger anger, sadness, bitterness, hurtful feelings, or relief. What happens after you divorce your partner? This is the time to reach out for support from family and close friends that can help you sail through these challenging times.

When a couple separates or divorces, finances become the most critical topic. Moving from a two-income to a one-income household is a cause of concern and can likely lead to financial hardships. Even spouses who work at home might need more skills, experience, or education to find a job. In such cases, finding a suitable job that can support you financially becomes difficult.

What is spousal support?

Spousal support, also known as alimony, is financial support or spousal maintenance granted when one of the spouses has shown that they need financial assistance and the other spouse can provide it. The gender of each spouse plays no relevance in making this decision.

A judge weighs in many factors before deciding on alimony. Whether the requesting party genuinely needs it and the paying party can manage it. People are often ingenuine about their earnings and want to extract the money. Remember, the party must request alimony as it is not by default that they get it.

How long does spousal support last?

Each state has different family laws. In Arizona, most judges consider marriages of less than ten years to be short. Alimony in such marriages is for a short period; meanwhile, if a marriage lasts from ten to fifteen years, it is a moderate duration, meaning a significant amount is granted for a greater length of time. At the same time, over fifteen years or longer, marriages are considered moderate to long-term. Judges will not require the paying spouse to work beyond retirement, so there will be no indefinite term period.

If you are getting divorced and want to learn more about it, schedule a consultation with Shaffer Family Law at (480) 470-3030 today.

Both parents are vital for children regardless of unfortunate circumstances. Divorce can be hard for kids, as watching their family break up is difficult. When children are raised in a family where their parents love them, it is not easy to witness parents part ways with each other. In some instances, divorces happen when the child is young without any substantial memory of one of their parents. Even in those situations, while growing up, children learn about their other missing parent when they watch their peers accompany both their parents. Children are confused and try to look for answers. Some of the questions bothering children can be:

• Who is my father?
• Is he coming back?
• Does he know I exist?
• Does he love and miss me?
• Can I see him?

Often children think that the world revolves around them. Everything happens to them because they are the cause or related to it. We understand it is not easy to talk about the missing parent when you are already filled with strong feelings toward your ex. It may be entirely negative, and not letting it overpower a rational conversation with your child requires time. Your child may wonder if it is taboo to talk about their father, but when you feel it is time, you must speak.

Communication is the key

It is essential to open a communication channel to help you understand your child’s feelings and how they process everything. This would help in your child’s overall personality development. You don’t want your child to keep bothering themselves and keep their feelings to themselves forever. They might end up blaming or hurting themselves for the absence of their father. Every child processes differently, and it can be a challenge if they are not talkative about their feelings. This opening up will help both ways, as your child deserves to know what happened to their missing parent.

Do not talk ill of another parent

Divorce is complicated and can ultimately turn your life around. We get it you are hurt and are taking one day at a time by joining those broken bits of yourself. It is physically and mentally overwhelming, and you will have strong negative feelings for your ex. However, venting or speaking ill about the missing parent in front of the child is not the best idea. Your child has all the right to know the truth as to why your ex left. It would help if you were honest about the reason for leaving, no matter how hard it is, but you should convey it in a simplified manner. That it happens, and the child is not responsible for anything.

Validate your child’s feeling

If your child is angry toward their father, you may alleviate by apologizing that the father could not be more present and how you wish it wouldn’t have been the case. Do not try to minimize or take away their feelings. Tell your child that it is okay to be sad and mad and give them time. If you can manage a child therapist, it may help your child.

Focus on the good qualities

Do not let your child think wrong about their father. The child may also believe they possess such inherent ill qualities as their father. It is the worst a child can think of and can affect their personality development.

Identify the father figures in their life

Sometimes, a son does not want to open up about certain things in their life to their mother. This is when they need someone they can lean to that may be a phone call away or can spend some good time with. They need to have someone they can turn to when they are uncomfortable sharing certain things with you.

We hope this can help you in some ways to start with, and in case you require assistance in pursuing a modification to your current parenting plan, our experienced family law attorneys are here to help. So, schedule a consultation with Shaffer Family Law at (480) 470-3030 today.

To start with, parting ways with your partner is hard, no matter what. Breakups are painful, and there’s no easy way to say it. If you are married, it is even more complicated and can be a lot for you to process as there is a lot to manage, such as children, property, and more. The list is endless, and more comes along as the process continues. So, it is a lot more challenging than you imagined. Sadly, there’s no straightaway answer, but it is overwhelming no matter what others say. However, these questions arise later, but an essential aspect is when you should get divorced. When do you know it is time to part ways? Is there a time? How long should you wait? What are some of the signs? These are some common questions that can pop into one’s mind. However, there’s no easy answer for anything in this complicated situation.

Every individual is different when it comes to their relationships. So first and foremost, comparing your relationship to others would not be a wise thing to do. Everyone functions according to their life experiences; honestly, you can’t judge and draw comparisons. However, we’ll provide signs that can help shape your perspective and make your own decision.

• Avoid or reject your partner – Some professional counselors believe your mind and body language response to your partner are somehow strong indicators. If you do not feel the closeness in your relationship and do not like the presence of your partner, then your mind and body will likely give you a hint. If you don’t feel like occupying a space near your partner, you fear or feel discomfort, don’t want to communicate, and ignore your partner’s presence. Even a lack of physical intimacy can be a significant concern for some in their relationship.
• No effort – Do you remember the last time you made any effort in your relationship? It is not good if you think hard to develop an instance. The most important thing is to look within yourself to examine relationship issues than immediately blaming your partner for everything. It is also possible that either of you is not putting in any effort because you both have grown apart and do not feel the need to make any effort.
• Everything turns into a big issue – Every relationship has ups and downs. It is healthy for a relationship to experience difficult times that help you grow and work through them. However, if every concern or disagreement turns into an out-of-proportion argument, it is a red flag. It means you may end up in arguments on most days throughout the year.
• Abuse – Abuse in any form is unacceptable. No one deserves it or should live with it, whether physical, mental, verbal, financial, or others. It is not okay to be abused and continue your life. If your partner is always telling you what to do, limiting who you can hang out with, or wants to know how much you spend, it is probably time to part.
• Infidelity – If your partner is cheating on you, it can take a while for you to process it. In any relationship, if trust is broken, it is hard to continue believing in that person. However, some people manage to move on and continue to live with their partners. If they can understand the reason behind infidelity and can live with the person, then it is an individual’s choice.  

If you are thinking about divorcing your partner and overwhelmed with the amount of work it will take, then Shaffer Family Law can help you. Our professional attorneys will take over your case and help in the best way possible. So, schedule an appointment today at (480) 470-3030.

A divorce is a life-changing event, like moving to a new place, finding a new job, getting married, etc. Break-ups are complex no matter what is said otherwise. Parting ways with your partner is painful and can break you down completely. It can trigger anger, sadness, bitterness, hurtful feelings, or relief. What happens after you divorce your partner? Do you intend to stay in touch? Do you feel interested in talking to or meeting up with your ex? Every individual is wired differently and functions accordingly. It can be hard to answer these questions blanketly. Some have arguments based on whether they have children and share their custody or other everyday things that make them come together. What if there are no kids, but you both work at the same organization? How will that turn out if you cut complete ties with your ex-partner?

It is essential to maintain amicable ties no matter how things have ended between both. However, men and women have different opinions. Some women have no issues communicating with their ex, while men think the opposite. They are not interested in keeping ties with an ex if they don’t have children. Men have a tough time accepting and moving on if they continue their connections with exes. But it varies person-to-person.

No longer be dependent on an ex

It will help if you don’t worry about managing and keeping your life together. With broken ties, you don’t have to stress over things your ex did or helped you with. Remember, there’s always a way out of everything. We understand how emotionally overwhelming it is to part ways with a loved one you had imagined spending your life with. Be mindful of your surroundings and seek the support of your family and friends who can help you. Look online, as it may help provide you with some information that can shape your perspective.

Don’t badmouth

Badmouthing your ex is not a great idea. If you talk ill about your ex in front of your kids or others, remember it is just your side of the story. It’s a two-way street; your ex would also have their perspective. This can negatively impact your children as they might become bitter or end up with sides. Children should have a healthy relationship with both parents. What you and your ex had should be between you both. It is good to maintain your dignity and not fall for it.  

Handle it well

If you happen to work at the same office, be amicable. Don’t show bitterness toward each other to your colleagues. It might give you a bad reputation at the office as you try to mix your personal and professional space. It can harm you, affecting your state of mind and work. 

Our legal attorneys can help you throughout the divorce and resolve many complicated matters involved in a divorce and make sure you move into your new life smoothly. Schedule a consultation with Shaffer Family Law at (480) 470-3030 today.

Going through a divorce is never easy. It is as painful when you experience a personal loss. It is mournful like the death of a relative, as parting ways with someone you’ve loved the most is the hardest. It can be challenging to come to terms with the surroundings, and you can take as much time as you need. The emotions run high and can be overwhelming for the person. Even if you are the one who initiated the divorce, you will likely feel different emotions. Sometimes you may feel out of control, get angry, and feel sorrow over how it has turned out as you never married to end up in divorce.

Don’t stop yourself from feeling what you want to

It is a highly emotional phase of your life, and it is normal to feel what you may be going through. You can take your time to grieve. Sometimes you will feel like crying over losing your loved one. You will think about your wedding; you may look at photos and videos, watch them and cry without hesitation. Just let yourself free from that space and give yourself that time. It is one of the most difficult phases of your life, and it will take time to accept reality. Sometimes people live in denial about their divorce and continue to feel that sorrow repeatedly. It is toxic; you must set yourself free after the grieving phase.

Do what you like

If you don’t feel like getting up from bed and want to indulge in the guilty pleasure of overeating ice cream or chocolate, go ahead. But try and be mindful of your overeating. If you don’t feel like doing anything, try relaxing, practicing meditation, or doing other mindful activities. You may take a long shower to relax your mind and body.

Pursue a hobby or any activity

If you’ve been longing to learn a musical instrument, how to paint, or anything you like. Try and start working toward it. It is a good idea to indulge in something new and keep your mind off the overwhelming thoughts. You may feel sad and compare your life and lifestyle during marriage and how it has become now.

Spend time with your friends

Go out and enjoy yourself with your friends; you need to divert your mind and not be occupied with dark thoughts. Overthinking and constantly being in that negative space can pull you down, so do not let yourself be into it.

Reinvent yourself

When you’ve been one-half of a couple, it can make you think about what you are after it. It is time to start over and try something new which makes you happy, as it is you who matters in the end.       

When you get married or move in together, your lives are tied together in many ways, including your home loans, power bills, and relationship status on social media sites. When it ends, it hurts as you have placed all your trust in one person. And when that trust breaks, you tend to lose a lot in terms of everything. It is emotionally and physically overwhelming, and it can be difficult to manage during such tough times. Sometimes, it is difficult to come to terms with and accept the changes in your life. However, it becomes even more challenging if you decide to part ways with your partner and things are rough with the separation.  

Imagine if a stranger knows a lot about you, it can be weird and simultaneously terrifying with the thought of what if your information is misused. Now think this, you’ve shared a life with your partner and how well they know about you, your mother’s maiden name, or details about you or your family close to you. It is nearly impossible for a person who has loved you not to know things about you. Then your partner becomes your ex; things didn’t end as they should have. If your ex has turned out to be nasty, and you both cannot find any common ground over decisions, believe it or not, it is an alarming situation. 

Make a list of shared account

When we say your partner, who is now your ex, knows a lot about you, it is pretty valid to an extent. Make a list of shared accounts, such as video streaming apps, home locks, indoor security cameras, Wi-Fi networks, and others, and change passwords immediately. It becomes problematic if your ex remembers the pattern of the way you think while creating passwords. You must think hard and differently about the things your ex doesn’t know. If something didn’t go well between you and you’ve got the slightest idea of how far things can go, it is time to act. However, even if things were amicable, it is best to make the changes. When you are together, knowing everything about the other is natural. But the same thing becomes scary when you both decide to go separate ways.

Remove life events from social media

Today, social media is inseparable from our real life. It constantly reminds us of our life events and brings back good or bad memories that we may or may not want to recall. It is time you delete the memories or constant reminders that you get. You may delete or archive photos from Facebook, Instagram, or others and adjust your stories on social media. It is best to wipe out all the memories from all your devices, if not possible, from the brain.

Turn off tracking services

If you share a joint phone account with your ex, you may need to remove your ex from the account or make sure he doesn’t have access to your location services. It only works for mobile phone lines on the same billing account or has the Family Companion app paired with parent devices.

Reset your devices

Shared laptops, phones, or any internet-connected device your ex has had contact with should be considered a suspect. Have a backup of all the necessary files and photos, and factory reset your devices.

No matter what people say otherwise, divorce is tough and a challenge. It is difficult to let go of someone you’ve loved the most and spent some good times together. It takes a lot from you emotionally, physically, and financially. If it involves children, it becomes further complicated as they are the worst victims. It is essential to keep them involved in your decisions as it affects their lives too. Apart from what you are dealing with at home emotionally, financially, and physically, it is a lot more to comprehend than that.

It is easy to get lost in the twists and turns of this seemingly endless divorce process. We understand you are already overwhelmed with everything and will likely be swayed by your emotions. This is the time to make things easier on yourself and know where you are heading. It is always good to see where you are going, as it can reduce some of the stress during such difficult times in your life. Ultimately, making a decision that benefits you and your children should be the goal. Some people would like to move fast in a divorce and get done with it, whereas others would take one step at a time and go slow about it.

It depends on the state you live in if you want to know how much time it takes to get a divorce. Not all states have a cooling-off period; it is a waiting period that must pass before your divorce finalizes. Suppose you and your spouse agree upon every part of the divorce – including custody, property division, living arrangements, and more; you are more likely to move quickly in your divorce process. However, if you and your spouse are not on the same page, it may even take several years to finalize the divorce.

Moreover, it comes down to how complex your situation is. If you’ve not been married for long and have lesser negotiable assets, your divorce may not be complicated if negotiated on most of the parts. However, if the marriage lasted for a long time with assets, it could take a long time to find a middle ground. Sometimes, it isn’t easy to understand why things happen as they do.

So, if you are planning to divorce your spouse and need help navigating the process, our experienced legal attorneys can help smoothen the process. Schedule a consultation with Shaffer Family Law at (480) 470-3030 today.   

Parting ways is never easy, but a wiser decision than sticking around in an unhappy marriage. It comes with many responsibilities, and you must deal with them mindfully. If you have children, their safety and well-being become a priority. What is in the best interest of your child becomes of utmost importance. During a divorce, it is highly likely to have disagreements on many things; in some cases, it is common in every matter. With children, the responsibilities grow, and it is good to co-parent for your child’s best interest. However, you may end up with disagreements over many things, but if you create an understanding, it will benefit everyone in the long run.

Co-parenting time

The first bone of contention is time; it is important to understand that spending a good amount of time with kids, just like before the divorce or separation, is reasonable. Both parents should spend ample time with kids and remember that school or children away for activities do not count as time with parents. It is time to plan accordingly, so there are no disagreements at the first step. Research suggests that a child with a relationship with both parents is likelier to be happy than a child with a relationship with a single parent.

Child support

Child support amounts are based on each parent’s monthly income. It is the first responsibility of both parents, including gender-neutral parents, to pay for the support of their children. Even if both parents jointly share custody of the child, parents will still accept child support as it depends on the case and state laws that decide on child support. It is vital to abide by and be on the same page as your ex.

Bring child between

It is wrong if your spouse is using kids to raise concerns about an issue. It is important to deal with the issues directly rather than involving kids. Meet with your ex at a place where you can discuss the issue at length without involving kids. 

Discipline

It is common if one parent is more lenient about the child not actively pursuing homework or other activities while the other may not be. It is likely that the parent would want to improve their child’s habits and discipline them but are struggling as the child continues to behave in the same way as with their other parent.

Micromanagement

Sometimes some parents are particular about everything in their child’s life. When the child visits the ex’s place, they would want to know everything and if the child was cared for well and did not do things they should not be doing.

If you need help, our experienced attorneys can guide you in the best possible way. Schedule a consultation with Shaffer Family Law at (480) 470-3030 today.